, says Arden; this will force him into being active. Rather than do more to make up for his passivity, do less. If, for example, you're always planning annual holidays, let him know that you're too busy to do so this year. The message is clear: if he doesn't plan a holiday, there won't be a holiday. 'You can help him unlearn his passive ways by not rewarding him for being passive. As you fail to respond in the expected way, he will begin to change,' says Arden. When he steps up to the plate, thank him.