The Material Safety Data Sheet For Women
Element:
Element:
Woman
Symbol:
Discoverer
Adam
Atomic Mass:
Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45 kg to 225kg
Physical Properties
1. Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
2. Boils at absolutely nothing- freezes for no apparent reason.
3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.
Chemical Properties
Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones.
Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Use
Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can greatly aid relaxation.
Can be a very effective cleaning agent.
Hazards
Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact.
If you don't have a Material Safety Data Sheet to learn the does and don'ts of having a woman you may find yourself needing
debt relief.
We must just face the facts men and women are just different. There was a book that was titled Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I like to say that women are like Alexander the Great and men are like snakes. What I mean by that is women will try and conquer as much Real Estate as they can. Whether it be the closet the bedroom, or just the way you dress.
When you get married you have a full side of the closet and she has a full side of the closet. But after a couple of months your side gets smaller and smaller. Before you know it you just have a small space in the closet if you are lucky. Sometimes she moves a lot of your things to a hall closet or maybe even the garage. Then she spreads all of her stuff all over the room, and if you place one book or a sheet of paper on the dresser she reprimands you like a child.
If you tell her that she has things stretched all around the room she will remind you that she is using all of those things. And sometimes she will use her trump card and say I am using those things for the kids. Your one item is making the room a mess. But she pays no attention to the complete chaos that she as going on in the room. She asks you questions like "are you going to wear that". Then you say what do you mean, is something wrong with my outfit. Then she gets all passive aggressive and says "I'm just saying I would not wear that if I were you".
But here is the kicker "but I'm not going to tell you what to wear". Well you just did in your own passive aggressive way. Just say she was wearing an outfit that you did not like, and you said "Why don't you wear another outfit that I like better". She would respond with "I wish you would learn to be more supportive and more sensitive to me". She goes on to say that "you should know that a woman does not want to hear those types of comments".
What! Did you not just do the same thing to me? And before you know it you are apologizing for being insensitive, and when she insults you. You apologize for not listening to her opinions. Before you know it about 10 years into the marriage your friends and family don't even recognize you. If the truth be told you don't even recognize yourself. She as become mama and you have become the kid. Some men even refer to there wives as mama. They say things like I'm going to need to ask mama, or "if mama isn't happy, ain't nobody happy". She wants you to act like a man but she is treating you like a child.
The men are more like snakes because sometimes they will just bite you because; well they are just being a snake. Men can be getting everything at home sometimes, and still they will just slither into someone else's back yard. A snake does not even need to be hungry in order to bite you. You can have a pet snake that you are treating well and the snake will still bite you. A snake does not care if is neighbor's backyard looks better than his he just wants to get into his neighbors yard to be greedy. Men will do everything in order to win a woman but are just too stupid to work to keep her. When she got a new outfit and you were dating you would let her know how much you liked that outfit. Now she can go from a brunette to a redhead and you will not even notice the change. Snakes never stop to spell the flowers because; well they are just too busy being snakes. They are not like regular pets. A cat will rub up against you to show there love, and a dog will wag there tails when you arrive home in order to let you know that they are happy to see you. But not a snake even after you feed them they still don't look content. They just look like they are waiting for the opportunity to sink there teeth into you.
I would like to give couples the 101 in relationships. Women give the man some space and a little respect. Let him make a decision with out you trying to manipulate his decisions. Just allow him to be a MAN and he will treat you more like a lady. Men give your women lots of compliments because this is what a women desires. Drink water from your own cistern and not from another's fountain and she will love and respect you more.
http://www.nomoredebtaches.org/ The Material Safety Data Sheet For Women
By: Elmer Williams
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