The People Who Offer Married Advice
The People Who Offer Married Advice
The People Who Offer Married Advice
People who offer married advice are often those who have found that marriage is not for them, or are so happy in their marriages that they cannot understand why others are unhappy. Offering this kind of advice to anyone can be dangerous. Primarily because every couple is different and every marriage is different. The expectations of people are not the same so the advice may not work for them.
Before people can offer advice, they need to know the whole story. This is where the communication often comes from. There are two sides to a story and unless both sides are heard and listened to, the advice may not be helpful to anyone.
Besides needing to hear both sides of the story, consider that many times what one person believes is the truth, often isn't. Or, it may be what one person believes to be accurate, but to the other person in the relationship, it could be totally wrong. This is why couple have problems communicating.
People who like to give advice do so not realizing what that advice could be doing to the person taking it in. Maybe it is making sense, maybe not. But the questions that someones advice could bring to the surface can often cause more problems than it solves.
Consider also, that when friends explain how something happens in their relationship, they are explaining it and describing it from their point of view. It may not be accurate information, but to them, it's the truth, and it works. This is also something that is working for this particular relationship and may not have the same affect on others.
Every relationship is different, just as different as the two people sharing it. Relationships are a combination of the people in it, their experiences, their weaknesses and strengths, their taking and givings, and all the other little things that individual people are made up of. All of this is brought to a relationship that is now shared with another.
When giving advice to someone else, remember that it comes from one angle, one point of view, and may only work on her particular relationship. It does not mean that it is an answer, or solution, or the rules of what people should do or expect from one another. Nothing is set in stone and every relationship is governed by the two sharing it.
Relationships, whether it be a marriage or even a friendship, are very special creatures. They need to be nurtured and cared for. They need to be heard and validated. Relationships of all kinds will dance to their own tune, because every one of them are unique in their own way. If offering advice, be careful that it is not something that is damaging or hurtful. If taking married advice, listen to your heart. Everyone will have something to say, and they will probably all believe they have the answer. Do some soul searching and find your own answers. It may be difficult, but the truth will be clear when it is found.
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