The Phenomenon of Facebook - Walking Your Own Path
The Phenomenon of Facebook - Walking Your Own Path
Along with over 58 million other people, I became involved with the growing phenomenon of Facebook about a year ago. While I choose to keep my list of cyber-friends compact and manageable, I sometimes find myself curiously surfing the annals of Facebook profiles in search of friends, co-workers, or acquaintances from years long past. My curiosity is sated in a wide variety of ways as I find profiles of people with whom I have crossed paths. Some of them, although older, still look pretty much the same, live in the same city, and do the same thing. Others are almost unrecognizable. Still others have moved on to dramatically different things in their lives, whether it is residing atop the ladder of success, or merely exploring an entirely new rung. I have, sadly, even learned of the death of a few of my old friends.
In exploring the fascinating ways in which people change, one likes to believe that he or she has made a change for the better over the years. However, a comment that I recently posted on Facebook served as a stark reminder that evolution into a better person is a process that needs to be constantly tended and nurtured.
One of my cyber-friends posted a video containing an eccentric and outrageous character in an embarrassing situation. For some reason, my mind drew a comparison to a mutual and eccentric co-worker from years ago. I then posted a comment that suggested an unflattering comparison between the character in the video, and the former co-worker. I subsequently removed the comment, but not before some reflection regarding why I may have put it there in the first place.
The co-worker of whom I speak worked at the same television station as I. During the live broadcast of the station's annual Christmas parade one year, she invited herself to the hosts' desk and proceeded to "entertain" the viewers with the assistance of a sock puppet. Suffice it to say that the pair made quite an impression.
The impression that ultimately prevailed was probably not the one she'd been aiming for but in hindsight, an act of such unparalleled fearlessness certainly required an abundance of spirit, passion, and... balls! As one might guess, it also inspired a bountiful supply of teasing and cruel jokes from her co-workers. Although I was not the worst offender, I often laughed along with the jokes, made a few of my own, and did nothing to ameliorate the situation. It was with a mixture of shock and disgust when I realized that my thoughtless Facebook comment had zoomed me back to a narrow mode of thinking that I thought I'd evolved beyond. Despite deleting the comment, I could not delete from my mind the fact that I had put it there.
It tends to be a fact of human nature to gravitate toward people who are "like" us, and to avoid people who are different from us. Indeed, further alienating the people who are different from us by making disparaging remarks or jokes can even form a stronger bond among "like" people. It is unfortunate that many people or groups justify their own belief systems or self-worth at the expense of the dignity of other individuals or groups who may be different from them. I can only hope that the cruel comments and whispered innuendos in regard to my former co-worker never broke her spirit.
This woman certainly marched to her own drummer; hence, she was chided for not tuning in to the beat of the status quo. To be sure, I have never resided in that realm for very long myself. Some of the events and choices in my past served as a source of embarrassment and regret, and certainly removed me from the median of the "normal". I could have made choices and decisions that may have given me a more stable life but, in retrospect, there's not much I would change. My adventures have taken me to every corner of our nation and everywhere in between and, at times, to various parts of the world. At a stage in life when I had given up on such a notion, I met the woman with whom I hope to spend the rest of my life. As I embark on yet another chapter of an unconventional life, she maintains an unfailing faith in me even when I have trouble believing in myself. Her love reminds me that it's okay to be different and to walk your own path.
It is almost impossible to surf the various personalities from the past contained in Facebook without making conscious or unconscious comparisons to yourself. If that happens, it's time to remind ourselves that God/Fate/The Universe gives all of us a different path to follow, with different experiences, different responsibilities, different rewards and penalties, and different perspectives and wisdom. We can choose our own paths with the options that are put before us, but it is unlikely that any of us are smart enough to know the correct path for someone else.
It makes no sense to disparage others in order to justify the path we have chosen. There is room in the world for the conservative family man who comes home to a wife, two kids, jumping dogs, and a white picket fence. There is also room for the eccentric dreamer with a sock puppet. Each must travel his or her own path and discover the one that is right for them.
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