The School Of The Americas: A Doctorate In Tortureology

My alma mater is the School of the Americas

My alma mater is the School of the Americas. Our school reunions are pretty atypical. They are held just outside of Langley, and I think the reasons for that are abundantly obvious.

Perhaps saying it is obvious is a bit presumptuous. Few people know what the School of the Americas is. Especially not Americans, which is odd. Tell a typical American there is a school of the Americas and they would probably conjure up an image of some yuppie Ivy League university. Americas plural, rather than Americas single, has an international implication. The plurality implies that is not in American, but rather external to America, and may be teaching American principles.

Effective implementation of totalitarianism isn't a skill someone is born with. Effective tyrants, totalitarians, and assassins must study their craft like any other expert. It is not practical to send all the unsavory henchman of this hemisphere's dictators to Harvard or Yale, or even Camp Perry, to learn the quintessential American principles.

This is why there is a School of the Americas. Dictators who do what America wants receive perks in return, one of them is sending their security and intelligence chiefs to the School of the Americas. Its graduates have a Bachelor's Degree in assassination, a Master's in tyranny, and a doctorate in torture. We give the dictator's nation foreign aid, and the dictator buys a military from U.S. contractor with the funds. This bright shiny new military is used to oppress the citizens of the nation. America looks the other way when the dictator steals some of the foreign aid and uses it to ensure a lavish lifestyle.

The dictator then grants concessions to U.S. corporations, who loot his country blind, impoverish his people, but enrich him and send most of the country's resources back to America. Ain't imperialism grand.

The residents of 2nd and 3rd world nations cannot be allowed to become free, as we need to farm their resources back to America to maintain our prosperity. They must be oppressed. There are simply not enough resources on Earth for every human to live like Americans do. Macroscopic human race economics are a zero sum game, and America makes sure that ledger is tallied in our favor.

I graduated summa cum laude, and actually was the valedictorian of my School of Americas class. It was either the School of Americas or a full ride to Michigan State. Learning to assassinate, torture, and oppress people didn't necessarily seem more interesting or fulfilling, but to be honest it didn't seem less so either. But I had an inherent sense that it probably paid much better than a degree in say electrical engineering or American history.

I'm sure you can sense that School of Americas reunions are the best school reunions of all. You never have to sit around and hear some pudd whacker talk about his boring job for hours, as if he were an astronaut and someone actually cared. All my classmates will having interest stories. We've all proud to have helped make the world a shittier placewell all of it except America, of course.

by: terrecescott

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