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The Seo Parody Service

I thought it would be funny to look at some of the things SEO companies say and what

it actually means when interpreted by someone who knows about SEO.

Finding an SEO can be difficult, particularly as there are so many to choose from, it can be a bit like comparing apples and oranges. SEO companies should be providing you with the same service but unfortunately this is not the case. There are many who take advantage of people by using flowery language to make their SEO service sound excellent, when actually what you are paying for is useless.

I wont name and shame anyone but these are exact quotes taken from some SEO company websites:

Why is our service such good value?


We are able to offer our products at a lower rate because we have developed a highly effective system that automates work that has traditionally been very labour intensive. This has therefore lowered our costs and we pass the saving on to you!

The real meaning, everything is automated we just take your money and do nothing.

We submit to around 150,000 search engines including Google, Yahoo, Dmoz and many more.

True meaning, we are going to spam your site across the web.

Guaranteed Top 10 Exposure on 225+ Search Engines. This guarantee is almost worthless because even if you were top 5 on 300 search engines if you dont have good rankings on Google, Yahoo and Bing you are unlikely to see much traffic.

Take a look at this SEO package; For $80 you get all the following:

120 Web 2.0 Links

700 Forum Profile Links

100 Article Submissions

15 Press Releases

150 Web 2.0 Profiles

RSS Feeds

It may look like an amazing deal but buying a one off package that gives you all the above will look totally unnatural to Google and could result in a ban. 120 Web 2.0 links is most likely going to be social bookmarks however at this volume in a one off hit it is unlikely to exhibit a lasting value.

700 forum profile links is over the top, there isnt anything wrong with forum linking providing the forum is relevant to your business and you are taking part in the forum, not just spamming it with a profile link and signature. I find it very hard to believe there would be 700 quality forums which would be of relevant content where you could get involved and add value to the forum.

100 article submissions in a one off lump are not going to add much value either. You only want to submit your content to the top article sites with the best quality content. Article submission is part of SEO and can help to generate continued back links as people republish your content, but you want to give your content the best exposure, by using the well known authority article submission sites you are better placed to do this.

Again Press Releases can generate back links and provide exposure for your business, just make sure you are submitting to high quality PR directories with interesting content.

Again Web 2.0 Profiles also referred to as social media profiles are going to give you some link juice and particularly on the major ones you could generate some serious traffic, but 150 profiles in a one off hit will not provide you with value. Social media needs to be well thought out, done correctly the results can be well worth the effort and can show you an improvement in SEO.

RSS feed submission can give you back links as your content is syndicated around the web, just ensure it is quality sites that your content is shared on.

When you see these so called amazing deals like this one I found

We will submit your website to 10,000 forum profiles, we will then ping those links and place them in your own rss feed. - all for $10. This could give your site an initial boost but long term will add little value and you could even earn your domain a spam score. This sort of back linking is unnatural and the Google algorithm can spot this eventually.


SEO Results

Another thing that really gets up my nose is when SEO companies say we have achieved top 5 positions for this search term for www.exampledomain.com and the term is something like international business development support services. It is easy to get sites to the top of Google for less competitive search terms so take some results with a pinch of salt.

Also there are plenty of times when I have checked to see whether the SEO company has actually achieved results it mentions only to find no trace of the website. I know rankings fluctuate and sometimes a client stops SEO work which will cause their rankings to fall so ask why the site no longer ranks where it did, there should be a perfectly reasonable answer.

by: James smiths
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