The Things that hold Us Back
The Things that hold Us Back
The Things that hold Us Back
It's oh so easy to be too busy reading books, blogs, articles about happiness, enlightenment, self-actualization to actually implement any of the great ideas you come across.
Aspects of this behavior:
Sometimes we can be afraid to reflect, to look deep into ourselves, to come into contact with our being, to see ourselves as we truly are. Therefore, we keep ourselves busy, our mind active, so that we have no time to reflect, to be, to feel
"This isn't it". We often experience a strong feeling of lack, and our reaction is that we and/or the world have to change. Therefore we keep looking for the next big thing, a new paradigm, a new approach. Just doing the same old, same old practice just doesn't seem to cut it
We may think that having insight into something, knowing about it already solves problems. But in reality it is often habits that have the biggest impact. Instead of building habits we tend to amass more and more knowledge
While we are looking to change, actually changing can be painful. We like familiarity and can even be addicted to the Status Quo. The suffering we know can paradoxically be more comforting than the pleasure we don't know. Therefore, even though we feel the need to change to attain fulfillment, we (unconsciously) also want to stay with what we have out of a feeling of familiarity
Cognitive Dissonance, a motivational drive to reduce conflicting internal ideas, can make change difficult. If it was really so easy to be better, to be happy, to be healthy, to feel fulfilled, then this would mean that we have suffered for no reason in the past, that in a way we chose to suffer. Since we definitely didn't choose suffering the solution cannot be easy or quick or needn't even be possible at all
Some of us like new things, new ideas, new concepts. For us, a new panacea in the distance is more enticing than a solution we already know and would now have to (boringly) implement
Implementing new habits requires energy, power, discipline. It is way easier to continue with our existing habits than to create new ones
At times we may feel that we do not deserve to be happy, to be content, to be fulfilled. We feel lacking, undeserving, unworthy and may actually seek (if unconsciously) to be punished, to suffer, to be put down
We live in an age of "doing". The idea of developing our "being" is unheard of. We are what we do, we are our external effects on the world and introspection is often considered a solipsistic indulgence. It doesn't matter how we feel, what counts are our actions, our performance, our worldly success. Spirituality is for losers, for the meek, something of the past, something for those who can't perform
Summary
All these aspects can be obstacles on our way to adopting helpful practices, implementing all the good ideas we read about and creating new habits. But if we become aware of them, if we acknowledge and integrate these aspects of ourselves we can soon start with the simplest of techniques!
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