This is one I have been meaning to write off an on for a while.
As a bloke you realise early on from your mother that your world revolves around avoiding trouble by doing chores. Not only doing chores but dong them straight away. When you grow up and marry you think, briefly, that now you are the boss and you can get away without the chores having to be done. Alas no! You now have a wife - in my case Mrs Blog who takes on the role previously performed by your mother. So, apart from a few years spent as a bachelor with a flat coverd in dust, a sink full of dishes, a fridge full of green cheese and a loo that you are embarrased by you are stuffed by the chores!
There is a safe place though where you are protected - lucky for me I discovered it early on in my life at about age 4. The safe place looks like this -
Yes the loo! Once you are in there you are safe - no woman will ever dare disturb you in there! It must be something to do with them being in denial about the normal body functions or something. You do have to be careful though - I used this technique with my grandmother once too often. at the tender age of 5.After a significant period (somewhere between 30 mins and an hour I think) of chore-avoiding in the loo she came after me with remedies for constipation.
ThenI made the fatal mistake of telling my brother (then aged 7). Not only did I tell him about the dodge but also how to avoid those constipation cures by only staying in the toilet for fifteen minutes at a time. It lasted only once - Grandma spotted the two us of missing at same time too easily. We had made our excuses just afterdinner - iI headedfor teh downstairstoilet and my brother went for the upstairs one.Grandma was still standing by the pile of dirty dishes fifteen minutes later holding two dish cloths. Not only was my ruse now redundant but my brother thought I was an idiot.