This Month's Diy Project - Installing Porcelain Tile

My family and I have recently moved into a new home

, and when I say "new", I use the term very loosely. I believe the home itself was built in the 1970's; nobody seems to be too sure about the date. However, judging by the green shag carpet that small children could get lost in, and the dark brown wood panels covering the walls in the two downstairs bedrooms, I'm pretty sure I'm right. The 1970's was the only decade to produce such, how shall we put this, interesting decor. Either that or the previous homeowners were legally blind. Or hadn't left their house, turned on a television, or opened a magazine in the last 30 years.

Needless to say, we are slowly trying to renovate. We are on a very limited budget, so we are attempting a whole slew of DIY projects never before in our skill set. Since my husband is a Social Worker, and I am a stay-at-home-mom/writer, that means that ALL of our projects have never before been in our skill set. But, I digress. This month's project is the master bathroom which involves pulling up the orange and green linoleum and laying porcelain tile. Discount porcelain tile, because of our limited budget.

Number One:

Clean the floor really well. Make sure there's no dust, otherwise the mortar won't set well. If you skip this step, the whole project will go down the tube.

Number Two:

Find your center point of the room and draw chalk lines from your center point to each corner. Then practice laying the tiles without adhesive, one quadrant of the room at a time. Begin by placing tiles in a straight line towards either wall, leaving a small space between the tiles. This step is important. If you think that you are smart enough to get it right the first time, you are wrong. DO NOT start laying the tiles with adhesive without practice setting them first.

Number Three:

Mix your mortar according to the instructions on the package. If your husband is like mine and has some sort of aversion to reading instructions, do it yourself. If it's not mixed correctly, it can be a big mess. Really. Don't leave this step to your husband. Take it from experience.

Number Four:

Okay, at this point, we were in such a mess, that we broke down and called my cousin's husband, who works in construction, to come and fix our mess of a bathroom. It took him and his brother all day to fix what we had done wrong. Thankfully, we were able to get more of the discount porcelain tile, because we ruined a few pieces. We have learned our lesson; we are definitely researching our projects better from now on. And asking for advice before we start. And hiring my cousin's husband from the beginning. Even if that means cashing in one of our 401k's. It's worth it.

by: Art Gib

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