Transitions - Moving Through Grief
The most difficult stage of labor is called transition
. It is that moment when life force utterly takes charge with the mother bringing the world a new life, when the emerging being moves from within the womb, down into the birth canal. The pain is at its most intense, and a force that cannot be overcome has its grip on the mother. She has no alternative but to hand over herself to God, and to her helpers, and breathe this new happening into the world.
We sometimes find ourselves in transitions in life. The pain is near to unbearable, and no effort of ours stops the process. In our feeling of helplessness, we cry out to God, and we fall on the helping hands that hold us up. And somehow, we live through it, and the new self we are laboring to breathe into existence, comes forth.
I never believed that at this time in my life I would be asked to suffer such events, or make such radical life changes. But in this anguish, and amidst these irreparable losses, doors are opening.
I remember my treasured grandmother, and the gentle ladies her age. Were in a member of their generation, becoming an old woman would be drawing very near and, settling in at home, and winding down my responsibilities. I look at my hands, and the physical signs of age are apparent. But I feel my spirit, and know that I am still...just me.
This last year I have lost much of that which I loved best, and that which I drew on to define me. Some of those most preious to me in all the world are now gone. But I stood the test. I stood at the crossroads, and I chose to keep going forward, to redefine myself not by my losses, but by my choice to reclaim life. The Holy Mother has stood beside me during this transition whispering, "I too knew loss." .
I have comprehended, with God's loving help, that the way to reclaim our life is to give our life away. I understand that I still have so much to give, much still to be given. Last year, I had the great good fortune to spend six precious months in the amazing country of Romania. Little did I realize then, that that time, and those treasured souls I met there, would prove to be God's saving grace to get me through this dark time. Romania calls and I return now at last to satisfy a hope of becoming a part of these precious people's futures. In August I should be back in my beloved Romania, talking with my dear friend, and eating our dinner together...sharing the quiet pleasures of mamaliga and goat cheese, and maybe if I am lucky, a little tuica.
I must honor my beloved son David, who walks the road less traveled, and who has been a brick in my foundation for his whole life. Dave you are a true heart; you have given me the most honest, most powerful, purest love any human being has ever had bestowed upon them. You are a guiding light for me, now and for always. I would not have come through intact, were it not for you
Transitions - Moving Through Grief
By: Carolyn Blake
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