Undergoing Divorce: How to Cope with It a Lot Better
Undergoing Divorce: How to Cope with It a Lot Better
Divorce, no matter how you look at it, is still very nasty. It's not easy to end a relationship, especially if you're married in the first place. However, there are thousands of couples who have survived divorce, and you can too.
How to Survive It
The very first step that you need to do is to accept the fact that you're no longer together. Once you do so, it will be very easy for you to move on and lower down your expectations for your ex-partner. After all you really cannot expect the person to be with you for most of the time. There will come a day when he or she will go out on a date and even raise another family.
Acceptance will also help you prepare yourself for the incoming responsibilities. Expect to do a lot more, especially if you have the kids with you. Single parenthood is not the easiest situation you'll ever get into. Nevertheless, if you know what to expect, you can already take some steps to make it much easier for you.
It's also important that your kids have already been briefed about the situation. The children are the most affected during a divorce. If the kids are still young, you can definitely anticipate them to look for your spouse. If they are already big enough, they may have to go through a trauma phase, not quite believing they are a product of a broken home. However, with proper counseling, it's not going to be such a long problem to deal with.
Don't forget to take care of yourself. Divorce brings about loads of stress, and when you're under too much stress, your level of cortisol increases. Too much cortisol usually leads to nerve damage and a very low immune system. The last thing you ever want to happen when you're in a divorce is to get very sick.
You can do meditation at least for fifteen minutes a day. Meditation boosts your immune system by increasing the level of oxygen in the body. Moreover, you increase serotonin, which has the ability to lighten up your mood and decrease the chances of suffering from depression.
You may also want to use subliminal messages or positive statements. When you're under divorce, your self-esteem or confidence is at all-time low. Many do point themselves as the main reason for their breakup. Perhaps they have been too strict on their partners. Perhaps they allowed the relationship to fizzle out. Regardless of the reason, you would start to feel not so good about yourself.
Subliminal messages can help uplift your mood. During meditation, for instance, you can listen to some subliminal messages like the following:
I am still worthy to be loved.
This divorce doesn't define me.
I can still rebuild my self-confidence.
I have a lot of strength inside me.
These subliminal messages will be gentle reminders that there's still so much of you left, and you just need to tap on them to cope with divorce more effectively.
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