Understanding The Relationship Between Core Beliefs And Depression
At the heart of your despair are nuggets of self-hatred named core beliefs
. They are produced as a result of experiences that you think mean something about who you are. In other words, identification with experience is the origin of your mental anguish. For instance, think of a child raised by emotionally immature, alcoholic parents. They choose to spend their time going out drinking instead of raising their child. As a result of that experience the child comes to suppose they discard me because Im unlovable. However the reality is that the adults are responsible but do not have the emotional capacity for parenthood nor the inclination to develop it. To misconstrue and personalise an incident instantly creates a core belief: This experience means I am
Freedom from mental anguish and depression involves fracturing that identification. Two things need to be realised here: 1) you are the human being that you are and 2) You experience arbitrary, unpredictable life events, none of which define who you are. Having an embodied, deep awareness of that reality is the definitive cure for depression.
All Core Beliefs Have These Qualities in Common:
=> You know for sure how factual they are
=> They feel intense and factual
=> The pain of them hurts (like hitting your head with an emotional hammer)
=> They start with the statement I am
=> They differ from the actual truth of what is
Manifold Layers of Anguish
Core beliefs, although false, are so painful that a variety of strategies are used to avoid and downplay them. They build up over the originating event like complex layers of an onion, with each new strategy reacting against the previous one.
The more strategies you create, the more convinced you become that the core belief is actually the real deal Although unconscious, it actually takes a lot of energy to develop and maintain all these strategies which illuminates why a symptom of depression is low energy. Alternatively, discharging the core belief results in happiness which is a natural state of ease whereby your life force energy flows liberally throughout your body.
In this example, notice how one conviction builds upon another until the original belief is obscured beyond all recognition:
=> Theres something wrong with me => Therefore I must be revolting => The reason is that my body looks distorted => So I will hide that by frequent laughter => If I got overlooked, it was only because I failed to get it right => Trying harder will make John love me.
The strategies could be called:
=> Core Belief => Conclusion => Rationalisation => Compensation => Pressure To Be More / Better => Masking by Pleasing & Placating.
Actually the truth is this:
=> As a human being I fight to comprehend all the complex feelings I have => Each individual is made up of a variety of human attributes, including that which makes me unique => Differences in body shape and size are normal and my body is unique => People can sense when my smile is at odds with how I really feel and it can make them feel uneasy. => When Im not being myself I feel ill at ease. => When Im struggling hard to be something that Im not I feel too exhausted to enjoy life.
Healing From Depression
In order to mend from depression, just become aware of self-judgements and notice your real experience objectively Obtaining relief and healing is as simple as choosing reality over your core beliefs. Above all, STOP JUDGING THE JUDGING! In therapy, a skill called mindfulness dissolves these self-destructive layers. At Henshaw Consulting, Psychologist Perth, you can learn more about mindfulness and recovering from depression by downloading our free E-Book at: www. HenshawConsulting.com.au.
by: Sophie Henshaw
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