Us, and our so called "Morals"
Foreword:
Foreword:
"I'm not comin' back. Cause I ain't leavin'.
Different Places.
Have you ever noticed the things that make you happy? Chances are you have. We've all got our own special comfort food, or pair of cozy pyjamas to wear. Or our 3 year old socks we've never washed cause they were "lucky", oh, and don't forget our favourite songs. Whether it is material or not, we all have our own things that we like and do, that make us feel better, about everything and anything. Now I'm not some sort of scientist, or psychologist that studies these kinds of things that you will have the opportunity to read about should you decide that I'm not some sort of arrogant human being rambling on about my own free thoughts and ideas. Run on sentence. But seriously. Should one not be allowed to have their own personal ideas expressed freely? Should we able to use but at the start of a sentence? Should one be forced to hold in information on the premises that it is offensive? Or embarrassing to themselves, or others? Should we be scared to tell people what we really think? Should I be asking all of these questions? Maybe, I don't know any more than you, or he, or she does. Maybe there is no limit to the questions we should be allowed to ask. Maybe they didn't really go to the moon. Maybe.
Should we not sleep on waterbeds? Don't make them so comfortable then. We all have at least one idea, or places or, for lack of a better word, thing. That makes us happy, or excited, or gives us butterflies and goose bumps. Goose. What a silly word. I like it. There are places that exist naturally that we can't help going towards. Places that make us feel warm, paths. Paths that exist so we can walk along them and find out where they go, the ideas we seize and hold on to. That keeps us going; bring us joy, happiness, wisdom, and experience. Ideas like space travel, music, poetry, taxes....., love.
They say it is easier to smile than to frown. Maybe this is true, but it's definitely harder to have something that makes you happy enough to smile all the damn time then it is to frown. Maybe we have so many things going on within our lives that we want to smile all the time and we do smile often. But in the end frowns always catch up to us. Some of us have probably discovered these ideas; maybe some of us don't even care and like to live life totally ignoring these kinds of things. Some of us don't need "this". Some of us do...and this is why.
November 9th, 2010. A day I will always remember. The day Call of Duty: Black Ops was released. Most importantly though. The day that I found my path, the place that gives me butterflies, the place I know that is deeply engraved in my heart and is my true euphoria, my paradise. The person I want to spend the rest of my life with, to do great things with. To have a family with. To marry. To grow old with. Now I've known this wonderful human being for some time. So you might ask why I hadn't realized this sooner. Well, I can't really tell you that. Maybe I'm slow, maybe my place was hiding in the most peculiar way that it didn't occur to me to look for it there. Maybe I wasn't looking. Now it may sound corny, but, as you might remember from earlier, does it really matter? Are we some almighty being that takes supreme judgement on everything that has ever gone down?
I was walking down the sidewalk on this beautiful fall day and it occurred to me that all I could smell was her perfume. Yes, I am a man if you must know. Why does "perfume" refer to the female variety of products, and "cologne" refer to the male? No one had passed me for some time, and no one was following me as well. So I know it was not someone who may be walking nearby. I love this smell, it is seriously the one smell I could smell all the time. It beats out fresh dirt and "Groundball Grape" flavour Big League Chew any day. I suddenly got smacked so hard in the face with this idea that my eyes started to water. I was walking towards her, seriously though, I was actually walking to meet her. She was on my mind and I believe she was on my mind so much, that I could literally smell her. Unless her perfume smells like a cool fall day, which could also be another reason I love her so much, because I love the smell of a cool fall day. But it wasn't that cool fall day that I could smell. It was definitely her scent. I also noticed that this side of the road was much warmer than the side I had just come from. The sun was already long gone behind the church across the street so it could not meddle with this sort of business. This side, the side with her on it. Was my side too. It was all that I wanted, all that I needed. It was everything, for me. This was the side that I want to be my life. This was our side. Although two people can share one side, does not mean that they don't have a side of their own.
Everyone has their own path. A path that is unique to their lives, these paths can cross, and they often do cross, and these paths can run together towards the same spots for a long time. But these paths must almost always come apart sometime, for tragedy and life cannot be foiled. These paths do not happen or come in the same forms for everyone. I can't tell you how to find your path if you haven't already discovered it, that's up to you to find. You must look deep within yourself and find what you desire, more than anything. You must then take that and make it your reality. You must. "You must hold your breath while going past a graveyard."Who made this myth up? What could seriously happen to you if you didn't hold your breath? What if you are running in a marathon and the graveyard is a mile long? What would happen if common sense was more common? Would we be where we are today? As a whole. Would we be 50 years ahead? 100? Behind? Would we still be here? Would we be reading this? Possibly.
I've never done this kind of thing before. I don't know what I'm doing. So I consider it quite a big achievement if you are. I like the crunch of carrots. When they're larger ones and they snap really loudly when you bite into them. Raw food is the best, although I will never be one to turn down a good steak if it is offered. This is all I have to say about the different places. It's up to you to decide where yours is, and who you want to tell about it.
Different Spots.
Different spots are much different than different places. Different spots are the spots that you will discover and get to after you have found your place. Your path. These spots are also unique to each person, they are all different, and they are what we make them out to be. What we want and what we don't want. They are, in essence, us. I wish I lived in another country for a part of my life. I wish I knew different cultures, ideals, beliefs. When will the world come together and get along with each other. When will we finally realise what we are doing to each other? To ourselves? When it's too late? That's usually what happens when you realise something...when it's too late. Am I right or what? Do we all have our own agenda? Yes, of course we do. We all have our own things that we need, and want. But what is forgotten in all of this self love, is the fact that we are all one people. One tribe. What kind of examples are we setting for ourselves with our wars? Our hate or ignorance. The wrong kind. Somehow we have made all these things less frowned upon over time in our search for freedom. Sure, we need to have freedom, but what is freedom if it is tightly surrounded in the grasp of morality?
I had a dream that I drove a car across a footbridge and down some stairs and was greeted by a crowd of cheering people. What is the point of dreams? Are they sub-conscience creations of our brain to keep us on track to creating new, progressive, profitable ideas? This is turning out to be a lot of questions. I could be writing about something that would be giving you an answer to something; however unrealistic that something may be. Maybe this has to be a lot of questions. Maybe it needs to be, and we need to step back from our glorified position and discover that we need to question ourselves. We need to stop worrying about what is in front of us so much as to worry about ourselves. Think about it for a moment. If you all of a sudden woke up one day and realised you were in a totally unfamiliar place, without any clothes on, and nobody around you that you recognized, or nobody around you at all. What would you do? You would check yourself first, even though you may say you would survey your surroundings, you actually are just fooling yourself. You have already looked at yourself, how else did you know that you are stark naked in a totally random place. Even though you may not have thought about doing this, you did it, and without realising what you just did. This is what us, as human being have somehow managed to avoid doing, without even realise what we are doing. Before we look around and see what we have to work with and how to get there, we must decide where we want to go.
If you ask me, we aren't going in a very good direction, we aren't achieving all we can, and we aren't becoming all we can become. We are rapidly falling off of our path because we forget to see where it goes. Where will we be in 100 years? How about a thousand? Where will we be at the end of us? Hopefully we're not here. After all of this time, wouldn't it just seem like such a waste? Such a waste of time? Would there be a point? What have we REALLY accomplished? Have we really done all we can? Really. Have you done all you can? Are you really sure of that, if you aren't sure of it, and you shouldn't be. None of us have done all we can do, not one single person in all of history has literally done ALL they can do. What about people who died for a cause? These people must have done all they could do because they died trying, right? Wrong, they could have done more, they just decided something was needed to be done right there, and right then, and it had to have significance. So they dedicated themselves to this cause. For that, I commend them. It takes a seriously strong willed person to commit themselves to something so much so that they are willing to die for it. Some of us on the other hand will never die for anything in particular. This is perfectly fine, for if everyone died for their own cause, there would be no one left to live.
Non-Stop
This feeling I have for her, it burns in my heart. It feels so good that it hurts. I love it, I can't get enough of it. I hope it will never go away, never leave me. Never forget about me. I hope it only gets stronger. I hope we get stronger. I want us, I want my euphoric place. I also want her dreams to become reality as well. Even if I don't know exactly what they all are?
Everyday for the last 3 years I've had one thing on my mind everyday when I wake up, her. Us. I may not have always shown it, and maybe sometimes she wasn't even there to show her it. Maybe I was showing her, however I don't think I was doing a very good job doing that at all. I mustn't worry about that, I mustn't let it get to me. Although I am sorry for it. The world will keep spinning and I'll keep breathing. I want her to know this, and I don't care who else knows, because I want them to see what they are missing out on if they haven't found their own path. The happiness they are missing, the laughter, the joy. Not just of having found your full, but at the same time, blank canvas. But your: "whatever it is that you want."I hope everyone gets to feel how I feel right now. Let me rephrase that, I hope everyone gets to feel how happy I feel right now. I hope she loves this. I hope I'm not making a fool of myself. I hope I make sense.
I want to cook right now. I feel like I could come up with some sort of tasty creation. I've had such a craving for gravy lately. I heard white gravy is good, maybe I'll try that next time I go out to eat. Or a salad, with eggs in it. Not an egg salad though, I'm sick of those. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you, that I love you baby. I always have. I'll always be here for you. I'll always be moving towards you.
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