Want to Save the Relationship? 3 Things You Must Do Now

Want to Save the Relationship? 3 Things You Must Do Now

Think back to when your relationship was brand new. You remember - the gazing looks, the endless giggling and the blissful give and take that somehow has now evaporated from your relationship. Has all of that been replaced by constant bickering, defensive posturing and issue avoidance? If you want to save the relationship there are 3 things you must do now!

During the early stage of your relationship you and your partner probably went out of your way to demonstrate your love and respect. It didn't take much to offer up a compromise or an apology. The big mistake most couples make is that all of this is too easily overcome with bad habits, complacency, and misplaced gratitude. Now, it's time to let the yelling stop and get back to those same principles. This time, however, it may take a little work.

Stop Keeping Score

When keeping track of how many times you give in versus how many times you get your way, and visa versa, becomes more important than the underlying issue, you have big problems. First the underlying issue is probably still there, festering, and ready for the next round. Secondly, nobody ever wins when keeping score.

Compromise is not capitulation. In fact, in a relationship, it is a sign of love and respect. Let your mate win a few. You'll receive far more in return than what you think you've given up. And, for goodness sake, don't keep track. Start every new discussion or issue with a clean slate.

Watch your tongue

How many times have you been on the right side of an issue but still didn't get your way? Chances are that you went about it in the wrong way and your mate felt attacked and became defensive. When we're in a defensive mode we tend to either lash back or fall back. In either case, the issue is no longer at the center - rather the words that you used are. The issue is not going to be solved.

Using attacking words and language like name-calling, or absolutes ("you never...) trigger defensive behaviors that simply drive the person further away. Instead of the focus being on the issue, the words become the issue and, so, nothing get's resolved while the relationship suffers. There are much more effective ways to communicate your needs and wants that will generate positive responses and actually solve issues as opposed to driving wedges between you.

There's no sin in apologizing

Nobody's perfect and, every now and then we all slip and do something that hurts our mate's feelings. Stuff happens and, whether it was intentional or not, step up and offer a sincere apology. Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

You want to save the relationship? If these basic principles are applied even-handedly, the relationship has a much better chance than most to survive.

The risk of a fragile relationship should not be taken lightly. You want to be sure to avoid many of the mistakes couples make in trying to revive relationships. Get the steady hand guidance of an expert that helped me tremendously. Go to ReviveOurLove.com now. And, Good luck!

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