We All Have a Need to be Heard
During this week when the world, and the United States in particular
, remembers 9/11, we've been focusing on the polarized state of things.
When 9/11 happened Americans were drawn together and also received the support of many other nations. It's a very different picture today, with an atmosphere of division and even hatred increasing by the day.
The current polarization in America cannot help but be heightened by the decision of a Florida church to engage in a public burning of the Koran to mark 9/11. This is a stunning thing to be happening on American soil in our time, reminiscent of book burningsand worsewe hoped we had left behind eons ago.
Writing in The Washington Post, columnist Michael Gerson comments, "This threatened libricide proves little more than the existence of a few attention-seeking crackpots in a continental countrythe natural resource that makes cable news possible."
The trouble is, it isn't just a few attention-seeking individuals anymore. Drama, scandal, topics that enragethese are the stuff on which millions thrive and on which so much public energy is wasted today, whether in the halls of government, in certain pulpits, or on television news.
In all of our conversations and the causes we support, it's worth asking ourselves whether we are seeking to bring out the inherentoneness of humanity or whether we are attempting to inflame, polarize, and divide.
There is currently great polarization, with vast amounts of ink and talk splurged on the issue, over the potential building of a mosque a couple of blocks from Ground Zero. Not that there aren't genuine concerns on both sides of such matters, but it's theway we talk to each other that's the real concernor, more accurately, the way we fail to talk to each other because we aren't honestly listening to one another.
Polarization isalways the result of ignorance.
Wherever there is ignorance, fear tends to thrive. If you don't understand someone, you are likely to fear what you don't understand.
It becomes more than just political opinion, religious persuasion, or social preference when ignorance leads to fear of a group and this turns into hostility.
It's evident that our world cannot go on in its presently polarized condition indefinitely. It would be one thing if Al Quaeda and the Taliban existed in a bygone era when horses were the fastest means of transportation. Today they are on the doorstep of that Florida church. We are all only hours apart, with all the dangers this posesbut potentially also all the blessings.
We all have so much to contribute to each other if we would simply admit our ignorance, begin learning from each other, and reach out compassionately to those from whom we are alienated.
It starts in our families, our places of work, our socializing and worship. Wherever there is someone who presses our buttons, there is an opportunity to begin listening, hearing, understanding.
The psychologist Carl Rogers once said that whenever people felt truly heard, he noticed a moistness in their eyes. We all long to be heard.
To hear someone doesn't mean we agree. It does mean that we understand their point of view, consider their needs, and stay connected despite our differences. The ability to connect with someone when we disagree with them, remaining friendly with them even in the face of hostility, is crucial.
It's so easy to pull away from someone, distance ourselves, then attack them because we are in disagreement on an issue. None of this reflects presence.
A person who is present doesn't withdraw. They bring their powerful loving presence to bear on the relationship. They are capable ofbeing there regardless of differences.
We All Have a Need to be Heard
By: David Robert Ord
Microwave Ovens What to Do When You Don't Enjoy Your Work Roster Cuts Tougher Than You'd Think if you don't want to be out of date Most Usual Causes Of Dry Mouth Acid Hyaluronic Collagen Cream Will Mmake Your Skin Youthful How Programmed Accuracy Equals Success, Theres No Luck Involved Mike Spann Raleigh Deck Builder What The Bleep Are You Thinking? What Are The Qualities Of A Great Virtual Assistant? Velocity-armageddon Antidotes, & Just Say "no" To 401(k) & Ira Confiscation Every Behavior Has A Postitive Intention Few Facts About Alcohol Rehab