What Fonzie Wishes His Car Had

The Fonz rode a motorcycle

The Fonz rode a motorcycle. With his personality, it is assumed that if he had a car, it would be a souped-up machine, ready for a drag race down Main Street. Everyone knows that the Fonz would win. After all, he is the Fonz; he always wins. (How can a man who can jump sharks not win a car race?)

But, what if the Fonz could add some of today's features to his assumed 1950s coupe? There are some things that he probably would not add. For example, would the Fonz want a CD player or satellite radio so he could listen to the latest rock and roll? Probably not; he could go to the local hangout and just hit the local jukebox (no change required) for music. And everybody knows he spends a lot of time at the drive-in. No music is needed there. Besides, after riding a motorcycle for so long, he probably is used to not having music while he drives. No, it's not music the Fonz would want, it's the things that would improve the performance of his car. Fonzie would want his car to turn heads, so the perfect paint job would be expected. His car would also have the perfect engine sound and roar from the tailpipes. Being a mechanic, Fonzie would add the new-fangled stuff himself.

Power Steering

To help him win the races at the local dirt track on Saturday night, power steering service would put the Fonz way ahead of the game in the curves and passing other drivers. At the end of the race, he, of course, wins and is ready to head off with the cute girl on the sidelines. With power steering, he did not have to wrestle the steering wheel as the other drivers did. The other advantage of power steering as far as the Fonz is concerned, is the ease of steering with one hand whether on the straightaway, rounding curves or taking corners. With power steering, he can keep his right arm around this girl and keep on driving.

Electronic Fuel Injection

Back in the day, Fonzie's car would have had a carburetor. Today's cars have fuel injection, which would help make Fonzie's car more fuel-efficient. Electronic fuel injection optimizes the performance of the car in other ways as well, such as power, better engine response at any outdoor temperature and more reliable starting. The Fonz does not want to be slowed down by his car not starting on a cold Milwaukee day, and he will have a good laugh when his rivals have to stop for gas while he can cruise on by. Being a mechanic, he will appreciate the easier diagnostics for a fuel injection system.

Mufflers

Everybody knows the right muffler can make the car. Fonzie would look for mufflers that produce just the right about of noise. A sleek black paint job would be perfect for the Fonz. Chrome bumpers, chrome muffler and twin chrome tailpipes would complete the look. The Fonz can choose from various types of mufflers and tailpipe combinations including those with silencers. He could roar when he wanted and sneak his girlfriend home late quietly. The Fonz, of course, will choose the coolest combination so that he could drive away stating, "AYYYYYYE."

by: Tom Aldridge

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