What Happens If You Just Shut Up?
What Happens If You Just Shut Up?
What Happens If You Just Shut Up?
In any relationship there are going to be disagreements. There are going to be arguments. But do you know or have you met people who just like to argue? Do you live with someone who likes drama? Are you a person who likes to keep something going? Do you find yourself fighting before you know it? Has arguing become a habit or a part of who you are?
In the book of Proverbs it also says that it is better to live on the corner of the housetop than inside a wide house with a brawling woman. It says it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious (controversial, arguing) and angry woman. I am sure this would apply to arguing men as well. Proverbs 26:21 As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife (conflict, trouble, fighting). There are many reason people will start and argument.
To goad you, dare you and provoke you to argue, control you.
People will use an argument as an excuse to get away and do what they want to do or drive you away.
People will use arguments to cover their insecurities
Habit
To attack you verbally and attempt to lower your self esteem
They are losing in the discussion, and want to change the subject
Some people are going to fight about everything and anything. It is what they do, it is who they are. If you are NOT a person who likes to argue and you are in a relationship with someone who does, if you allow them to force you into an argument then you are allowing them to control you. Proverbs 5:1 says a soft answer turns away anger, but grievous (cruel, harsh, severe) words stir up anger. Have you heard the saying that only a fool will argue by themselves. If you keep talking, it is like adding wood to the fire. But if you stop talking and they keep talking, then you know they are fools. They are arguing by themselves.
If you have gotten in the habit of arguing, then it will take work/practice to stop. Let the other person say whatever they are going to say for as long as you can take it. You may not have to say anything because eventually they should shut up. If it is a discussion you have had before do not try to defend or give your point of view because that is how you buy in to the discussion. That is what gets you started and adds fuel to the fire. If you buy in, stay focused, do not get personal, because once you get personal the discussion has changed. It is no longer the discussion you were having. Set boundaries, do not allow another person to take you places in the discussion you do not want to go. Shut Up, be quiet, and stop talking.
Many times if you stop talking the argument does not become physical or verbally abusive. You are doing this for yourself. Male or female, this is for you. Protect yourself, if you are a female and you shut up or walk away then you may not get hurt. If you are a male and you shut up or walk away, you do not get hurt or go to jail for abuse. Men are victims of abuse also, usually verbal and emotional abuse. Put the discussion off until later when both of you are calm. Which means someone in the discussion needs to be quiet, someone needs to maintain control.
In the book of James it says the tongue is a fire that can defile the whole body and can set on fire the course of nature, an unruly evil. It says we control horses with bits in their mouths and control large ships with a small wheel, but cannot control our tongues. Death and life are in the power of th
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