What If - Smoking Is Not The Real Problem?
Are You Waiting for the Perfect Time to Quit Smoking
?
Is Your Life a bit of a Train Wreck?
Do you plan to quit smoking when things are less stressful, only that time never comes?
If so, I need to talk to you.
It may be that SMOKING IS NOT THE REAL PROBLEM!
You may be setting yourself up for failure and fulfilling your needs by smoking.
Surprised?
Let me tell you about Rena.
Rena came to me to quit smoking but when she arrived it was clear to me that she needed to talk about things other than her smoking habit.
She was in tears as she told me about her problems at work and her difficult marriage. She was too busy to eat properly, she couldn't sleep, so she had no energy and to top it all off, she had to look after her elderly parents as well.
Not that she minded, she loved them dearly, but she was obviously being pushed and pulled every which way by life's daily demands and had no stable, secure place to stand. I quietly suggested that she might want to wait until things were a bit more settled before she quit smoking.
Trying to quit in this situation is a bit like trying to walk across one of those swaying rope bridges spanning a ravine whilst trying to balance a tray of crystal glasses in the air with one hand and hang on to the rope with the other.
You are not going to be effective and are likely to drop the lot over the edge.
You may even go over yourself!
The truth is, not many of Rena's needs were being met effectively. She was living on adrenaline and cigarettes.
Are you aware of what your real needs are?
After basic food, shelter and clothing, we all have very similar needs.
The ones I talk with my clients about are these, also known as the 6 Human Needs (1)
Here is a list with some examples:
Certainty or Security - safety, comfort, habits, knowing your belief is right.
Uncertainty and variety - new surprises, fun, distraction, change.
Love and Connection - friends, family, and relationships in general, even a pet.
Significance - feeling wanted, useful and important, getting attention.
Growth - learning, success, change.
Contribution - feeling useful, making a difference
Everyone has the same needs. It is how you fulfil them that matters.
By now you are probably wondering:
"What has all this got to do with smoking?"
Well, it has A LOT to do with it!
Yes, if your current life is a bit of a train wreck you may be setting yourself up for failure until you address a few things in your life.
Learning how to relax, understand your needs, and manage the ups and downs of daily life is one of the best ways to ensure you will successfully Quit Smoking and STAY quit.
For example, if a smoker feels bored or upset they are likely to have a cigarette.
Why?
Because it habitually gives them variety, security and comfort or perhaps it gets them noticed, i.e. significance.
It may be a mixture of all of these and when your needs are met you feel good!
I cannot emphasise this enough.
When they are not met, or not met in the way you are used to, you feel discomfort and fear. This can make you very vulnerable to relapsing into smoking - smoking is sneaky.
That's why it is so important to realise what your needs are, and to consciously act to fulfil them so that you are not prey to the grip of habit and toxic and harmful cigarettes.
So, if you are stressed to the max like Rena, upset, lonely or just plain unhappy please consider sorting a few of these things out in preparation for quitting.
Of course life will never be perfect so,
You don't need to wait for the 'perfect time' to quit smoking.
You just need to be aware of your needs and of how you are feeling so you can maintain your innate ability to balance and juggle daily life, whilst safely traversing that ravine!
Once you have your sense of balance, you can toss those cigarettes over the edge and watch them dwindle, smaller and smaller as they sink down into the ravine - gone forever.
You'll then have two hands free to carry those crystal glasses safely to the other side where you can pour some champagne to celebrate!
At our Quit Smoking Brisbane office we regularly assist clients with Quit Smoking Preparation Sessions, which include becoming aware of your own needs and learning to fulfil them in a healthy way.
(1) As defined by Anthony Robbins & Cloe Madanes of the RMT Institute
by: crodriguezjoseph
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