What Is Respect?
What is respect in a marriage?
What is respect in a marriage?
In Proverbs 14:1 the Bible describes two kinds of women:
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (NIV)
There are some things that a woman does that build the people she cares about, and there are others that tear them down. If you look at your husband as if he is at the top of your To Do list and think, Ive got to fix this guy! Guess what? I bet he wont change. In fact, I bet hell become more stubborn and less likely to go your way.
If you truly want to help him become bigger and better, if this is your desire use your words. But instead of using them to nag or drip as the Bible says use them to build.
Consistently feed him gobs of encouragement and affirmation and hell feel desired, loved, and safe. Once you get him feeling this way, watch out! He might just start changing right in front of your eyes because it is when he feels like he already has your respect he is more likely to listen to you when you want to point out something to him that might make him uncomfortable.
If you want to improve your man, be a good value for him. Tell him whats good about him. Praise him when he does something right, even if it is something little. We all thrive on praise and do what we can to get some more. Instead of stomping down what you dont like, water what you want to grow.
Billy Grahams wife, Ruth, has a wonderful outlook on this. She says, It is my job to love Billy. Its Gods job to change him! That says it better than I ever could.
This is a concept straight from the Holy Scriptures yet rarely grasped by couples today. In fact, I can honestly say I have seen it enacted in only a handful of marriages. Before you read it I want to say that implementing this in my own marriage was amazing. A wonderful marriage got even better. It is so simple to do you almost cannot have it pointed out to you and ignore it.
Yet, if grasped and acted upon, this principle holds Gods promise of healing and renewed love for hurting couples. It can radically change a mediocre marriage into a fantastic one. And, like it did in our case, if you put this principle into action you can take a great marriage into a whole new heavenly realm.
This principle is not only limited to the marriage relationship. It can also be applied to the way you treat other people. Many problems can be eliminated at work and church if we only treated others this way.
Ready? Here it is. Get ready to make your marriage the best ever: Women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected.
Yet we each withhold what the other needs and as a result get what we do not want. This cycle is talked about in Ephesians 5:33:
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV)
There you have what both men and women need. Women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. If we dont feel loved we withhold respect. If he doesnt feel he has your respect he doesnt act in ways that make you feel loved.
by: Lorrie Flem
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