What To And Not To Text When You Start Dating?
Texting, like online dating, has become part of the culture of todays society
. It is easy to get into the habit of texting rather than calling, since it is such a convenient way to communicate. However, using this form of communication can also present certain issues, especially when it comes to dating.
For example, after the first date, it used to be recommended to let some time pass prior to contacting the other person. With the advent of texting, many daters find it far too tempting to wait to connect with someone, particularly when they had a really good time. There is also a tendency to want to ensure that the other person is aware that you enjoyed spending time with them.
It is easy for people to get the wrong impression through a text message. Because the other person does not have the benefit of hearing the voice inflection or assessing his or her demeanour, it is never completely evident of the intended tone of the message. Therefore, texting successfully in any personal circumstance requires special care, particularly at the beginning of a new relationship.
Post First Date Texting
One of the best ways to use a text after a successful first date is to send a simple message confirming that you had a nice time. For example, a casual message saying Just wanted to thank you and let you know that I had a nice time with you. I am looking forward to seeing you again." You could even make a little joke about the night, this or that made me laugh and share a personal joke from the evening and see if there is a warm response or something more civil or dismissive. It is a good measure of whether the person did really enjoy meeting with you if they respond straight away and the conversation flows well between you via text or email.
Texts should have good grammar to begin with and see if the other person uses shortenings and abbreviations before you do, although commonly you will have chatted already via on-line means and know if the person uses informal styles of texting/chat. If the other person does then it should be ok to use them but if you ever want to text to look like you mean it always use proper sentences and start with I, there is nothing worse than receiving luv ya via text if the person is trying to say those three special words.
Texts to Avoid
It goes without saying that sending provocative texts is not a good way to establish a respectful relationship, particularly in that very fragile beginning. Being flirtatious is a part of dating however there are some boundaries to be aware of in order not to make the wrong impression. If you do really like someone and are looking for something serious a thoughtless and sleazy text message will just show you are only interested in one thing, rather than a relationship.
Also, under no circumstances should anyone plan their second date through a text, whether they were introduced through online dating or some other means. Once you have been dating for a while, it is probably most certain that you could both use it regularly for quick questions and such. However, in the start of the relationship it is best to avoid setting such a casual example.
Another scenario to avoid is something similar to drunk dialling or texting. For example, it is easy to become very loose lipped and tell friends about a new special someone and then during the night out on the town, you and your friend decide it will be fun to call or text this new someone, it spells for a disaster. That is generally not a good time to send messages or call someone you are already in a relationship with never mind when trying to start a new relationship.
Finally, never use a text message for something that should be said in person. For example, if you've become estranged for any reason, texting is not the way to go. Have enough respect for the person to have a real, in person conversation.
Remember that even if you met someone through online dating, the goal is to have a personal experience with a human being and that is best accomplished with meaningful, real contact.
by: Angela Selfridge
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