When Does A Surrogate Mother Have A Right To Keep The Baby? When Should She Break The Contract?

Surrogate motherhood is not all peaches and cream

. Disagreements happen, one party feels taken advantage of, and feelings get hurt. So when is it OK for the surrogate mother to break her commercial surrogacy agreement and decide to keep the baby of the intended parents?

First, let's examine some common surrogacy issues that go wrong. What if the intended parents stop paying the surrogate mother the compensation that is due to her? Perhaps they have had a verbal disagreement, maybe they ran out of money, or maybe they're just slimy people. Does the surrogate have the right to keep the baby?

No. Keeping a surrogate baby because the intended parents have stopped paying compensation is, quite literally, baby selling. Threatening to keep the surrogate baby unless the intended parents pay more money that the commercial surrogacy agreement states is extortion. Both are ethically and legally wrong.

If the intended parents stop paying the compensation due the surrogate mother (and it does happen sometimes) the correct procedure is to go first to the surrogacy agency, if one is involved and ask for their assistance. Then go to a surrogacy attorney. If the baby happens to be born during this fiasco, she should go home with the intended parents and let the courts handle the disagreement.

What happens if the intended parents do something during the surrogate pregnancy that the surrogate mother finds morally wrong? Perhaps they lead her to believe they belonged to the same religion she did, but then admitted down the line that they were atheists.

Perhaps they made the heartbreaking decision to reduce a set of triplets to twins, which the surrogate disapproved of, or any number of different things. Can the surrogate now, because she has found out something she doesn't agree with, break the commercial surrogacy agreement and decide to keep the baby at the birth?

No. Keeping a baby because you don't like his parents is simply kidnapping. The correct thing to do is to prevent such a situation from occurring in the first place. Discuss important issues like abortion and selective reduction with intended parents prior to signing the commercial surrogacy agreement. Take the time to get to know one another, go to their church if it's important, all while in the matching phase of surrogate motherhood. Don't leave any room for surprises later.

But what happens if a surrogate mother learns of something horrible about the intended parents? Perhaps they have a criminal record, or are taking psychiatric drugs. Maybe they have a history of mental disorder that the surrogate was unaware of until the end of the surrogate motherhood journey. What if the surrogate mother truly felt the child was in danger? Is it now time to keep the baby?

No. A surrogate mother never has the right to decide to keep a baby, regardless of the circumstances. If she truly feels that the baby is in danger, she needs to alert the proper authorities and let them handle the situation.

There is never, ever, under any circumstances, a reason why a surrogate mother should try to keep another couple's child. We aren't talking about a car here, but a human being. Someone's child.

As a mother myself, it is hard for me to even contemplate someone else considering trying to take my children from me. It is not something any surrogate mother has the right to decide.

by: Rayven Perkins

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