When Does It All Start For You? A Twist of Thoughts

A Twist of Thoughts...

A Twist of Thoughts...

I never had much of a relationship with my mother. We never seemed to mesh well. I felt that I was always a sore spot to her. Being involved in the religion made me happy, it made me feel like I was doing good things for others, and I could be gone from home with other grown ups that enjoyed me. I wasn't asking if I could hang out with another girl my age, the grown ups became my good friends. I do believe this bothered my mother. It may have put her in a strange position. She didn't want to be around these adults but I did. These adults began to know her daughter better than she did.

The strange thing about all of this is though that I never thought about my relationship or lack of a relationship with my mother until I was much older. I was involved in something that made me feel special and I excelled in it. If I wasn't hearing positive reinforcement from my parents I was hearing it from individuals that I wanted to be like. Looking back it is amazing just how easy it is for people to create an illusion or a false sense of belonging for a child. I didn't realize it at the time but I was surrounded by individuals that were constantly shaping and molding my way of thinking.

When I entered into middle school I met three girls; Beth, Kelly, and Renee, that had quite an impact on me. You've got to remember that Jenny was the last girlfriend I had that was my age. She moved away when I was eight years old. Since that time, I had been busy with the religion and when I wasn't doing that I was hanging out with my brother or busying myself. I looked forward to going to school everyday to see these girls. I felt a little guilty because they weren't Jehovah's Witnesses, but at the same time it felt so neat to hang around these girls and be a part of their conversations.

I started to tell my mother about them in hopes that she would allow us to get together outside of school. As mentioned prior, one of the things that Jehovah's Witnesses encouraged their children to do was to only associate with other individuals within the religion. Individuals outside of the religion were labeled as "worldly". Although my parents felt bad that I didn't have anyone to hang out with that was my age, they also didn't want me hanging around someone that was worldly. Going to school and being around them all day was enough, I didn't need to be around them outside of school too.

I accepted it for what it was; this was the first time that it saddened me though. Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses wasn't easy within the school system. I stood out as being different. In elementary school it was very noticeable to kids that I was different. Every morning when the class saluted the flag I just stood there and kids noticed. When the class would be doing projects based around holidays I wouldn't participate and kids noticed. When the class would be learning songs for the holiday performance I wouldn't participate and the kids noticed. When other kids would be recognized for their birthdays I never was. Going into middle school it was easier to hide ways that I was different from everybody else. However, my reputation followed me. There were many situations that I was put in as a child that I needed to accept and learn to defend why I did things different from others.

I understood at a young age why as one of Jehovah's Witnesses I needed to keep myself separate from worldly ways and worldly kids; but I saw something pure and genuine about those girls. I instantly loved every one of them. They respected their parents and the rules that were set for them. They did well in school. They were accepting of me and didn't care what religion I was. They didn't judge me for being one of Jehovah's Witnesses so why was I judging them for being worldly. They didn't separate themselves from me for being part of a religion so why should I separate myself from them. Even though I accepted the rules within the religion, I began to see things from a different angle.

I will continue with more of When Does It All Start For You...Go now to my website www.likemindedpeople.me and view what has become a hidden blessing to me and my family. Go to my blog at www.attractiveminds.blogspot.com. Here you can view articles surrounding my website. Please leave any feedback, comments, and questions. This is viewed on a daily basis. Cheers To You!!!

When Does It All Start For You? A Twist of Thoughts

By: Chloe Thomas-Edwards

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