When To Sleep With Him If You Like Him

Alot of readers have asked me what is the new "rule" about when to have sex

. Too long and he thinks you don't want to, too soon and he sees you as casual. One reader writes:

"What is your rule about when to have sex with a guy if you really like him? I am going on my third date this weekend with a really fabulous man... and I wanted to know if it was too soon? I have heard that if you really like him and want to be taken seriously you had to wait until date 5, or one month. Please help- I don't want to screw this up! PS. But if I could sleep with him this weekend, that would be great too!"

My "rule" is have sex with a man when you WANT to have sex with him and you feel SAFE having sex with him. If that happens in three dates - so be it. If it happens after two months, one month - whatever, as long as you are both comfortable, consenting and you feel safe physically (You trust that he is not a crazy). Here is Diva's one word of caution. Before you go on and jump into that heavenly hay and play grown up games - make sure you have a grown up conversation about expectations.

Don't assume that just because YOU would never sleep with someone you didn't love, that he is the same way. Men are capable of sex for sex's sake. If you think that the sex means you are now a couple, or exclusive, or in love, or even that you are taking it more seriously, he should know that. There is nothing worse than waking up after and finding out you both thought it meant different things. (Don't ask how I know this, I just do.)

You should know that having sex with him will NOT change the level he is already at, so if that is why you are doing it, stop. Sex does not change stages for a guy like it does a girl as far as emotion goes. Sure, it is relationship milestone. However, if he is at the casual stage before, he will be at the casual stage immediately following.

If you are both on the same page and Ok with the level the relationship is at, use protection & have yourselves a lovely time.

by: Karla Antelli

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