Where the Wild Things in Sports Are: What to Do About It

If you have been around youth sports for any time

, you probably have witnessed a similar incident to this one.My friend was sitting on the sidelines watching his son's game. Another father of a player on the same team was pacing the same sidelines. This wandering parent was starting, stopping and obstructing the view of many. Finally, my friend politely said to the wanderer, "If you don't mind? Obviously, implying that he was making it tough to see the action on the filed. Of course, this man's reaction would be reasonable and he would move, right? No, his response was "Any place, any time" intimating that he was ready to fight for his right to pace in the area he was in. As mentioned, both were parents of players on the same team. Unfortunately, the wild things in sports are amongst us and are us - adults who are coaching and sitting in the stands of our ball fields. It is not something new. To this day I can picture the depressed look on the faces of players whose parent created "scenes" at ballparks when I grew up. Just the fact that I still remember these incidents, shows the impact that negative parenting has on youth athletes. Unfortunately, these situations have probably become more frequent over the years. Because of the increased obsession with scholarships, travel sports, hectic lives and the many parents that want to re-live their playing days through their kids, these "fun-zapping" scenes are common occurrences in youth sports. Of course, some parents are just high strung and believe they have the right to behave the way they want when their child is involved. Whatever the reasons, scenes like the above seem more prevalent each year. Of course, I am sure we hear more about these negative sports incidents because of the way information travels in the modern day. Regardless, it is an issue that needs to be better dealt with in youth sports.Fortunately, most adults do not act in this negative way. Most parents and coaches are positive and supportive towards youth athletes. Unfortunately, what the "wild thing" parents do not understand is that their behavior affects many and is a reflection on the entire team. Additionally, it only takes one parent to ruin things for kids or create a bad reputation for the whole team. These parents definitely ruin their own kids youth sports experience, if not immediately, then sometime soon. It is up to other parents and/or coaches to help prevent this situation from ruining the sports experience for all.Following is a process that can be tried when un-sportsmanship behavior is noticed:1. Team parents should discuss an unpleasant situation with other team parents to find the level of unhappiness about this negative behavior.2. Parents should come to a consensus as to whether they should approach the parent who is out of line.3. Parents can designate a spokesman or call a team parent meeting to discuss the situation with the negative parent.4. Of course, often this unruly person is a coach and this makes things a little more difficult, and getting a consensus on appropriate action can be more difficult. However, when most parents agree the situation warrants it, the coach should be approached to discuss the situation.5. The use of E-mail and telephone are an acceptable means of initial communication to avoid a scene in front of the team. This method also helps so the parent does not feel ambushed with a parent meeting. However, at some point, a face-to-face meeting should occur.6. Hopefully, an agreement can be worked out among all. When things do not change, league or school officials should be contacted with concerns. Of course, there are other negative situations that are even more difficult to deal with. For instance, when the abusive situation comes from the opposing team, a letter or phone call to the opponent's director is a course of action, so at least someone is made aware of the situation. The most precarious situation is getting involved with a parent when it involves a parent's treatment of his or her own son or daughter. As much as people may want to help the child of a negative parent, telling other people how to parent can create a new sticky situation, as many parents have different parental philosophies. Talking to this parent's spouse or having a close friend approach them is a possible means of action. If parents feel like a situation has become abusive to children, legal authorities should be informed.Whether a course of action is taken or not with any of these situations, they provide parents with great teaching moments. Letting kids know that you are aware of the situation, do not agree with it and that you are trying to help the situation is a good thing. Finally, a preseason parents meeting can minimize many of these situations. Pre-season parent meetings should address appropriate parent behavior and a process for what to do when there is a future concern. Additionally, leagues, schools and organizations should have policies for parental behavior and should distribute this information on an on-going basis.

Where the Wild Things in Sports Are: What to Do About It

By: jack perconte

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