Why is it that women do not prefer nice guys?
Why is it that women do not prefer nice guys?
Why is it that women do not prefer nice guys?
First what is a nice guy, we need to define what a "nice guy" is before moving on:
According to my ole friend Wikipedia: a nice guy is considered a man that puts the needs of others ahead of his own, avoids confrontations, does favors for others, gives emotional support, acts nicely towards women.
Going on with Wikipedia has to say: There is an active debate about whether the nice-guy personality profile may actually make a man less desirable to women romantically and/or sexually. Part of this debate includes speculation about possible hypocrisy among women in the dating world: that women may say they want a nice guy but won't date him or have sex with him, and rather subconsciously prefer men who are more confident and assertive but less considerate.
In many polls I have seen that nice guys do finish last when it comes to women. In these polls it states that women do not really know why they prefer men that are not nice over nice guys but there is something in these men that intrigues them. Several women stated that while dating they preferred bad boys until they were ready to settle down. They were looking for adventure and not really a man to spend the rest of their life with yet. It was more of a game for the women. Several women stated that they could always land a nice guy, but they still had some adventure in their life and wanted to live on the wild side a little. These bad boy's bring out that wild side in the women, many young women want to play wild and crazy before they settle down in life. Then there are some women that just don't want to settle down, they love the party and clubbing lifestyle.
It has been pointed out to me several times that "nice guys" in a women's perspective are very predictable, not spontaneous, they cannot take the bull by the horns in situations. I guess this leads us back to Wikipedia has to state, that some women out in the world would rather be with someone that would treat them less considerate and give them no emotional support in but have a bad boy that is confident in himself.
Another issue that I discovered was that a lot of these women have insecurity issues in their life. They feel that they do not deserve a "nice guy" and there is no nice guy out there for them. When nice guys come into their lives the fear sets in and they tend to chase off the good guys because they feel that they do not deserve this person to be in their lives. These women with insecurities tend to gravitate back to a man that is a jerk. Some of this can be traced back to the up bringing of the women.
"It's quite simple really... if a woman has a healthy approach towards life and herself, she will not get anywhere near a jerk! Women and people in general, are only attracted to people who abuse them... abuse in any sense of the word whether it be emotional, mental, spiritual, physical... if they feel they deserve this type of treatment. Once someone realizes their own worth, they will not stand for any mistreatment!"
Along these same lines of insecurity in women, some women do not want to open up and show the truth about themselves. They are afraid that the men will find something wrong with them, so these women tend to go and look for men that are the bad boy type so they don't have to prove anything to these men or worry about these guys sticking around for a long time.
Another issue is in today's society I have read many articles from young women that point out that all they are interested in is a man for sex. They don't want to be tied into a relationship or any ties to a man, just want to use him for her sexual pleasure.
"Women in their 20's love the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the guy who treats them lousy! Yeah, that is absolutely correct. I, being a woman in the 20 age bracket, love to have men only want me for sex. I only want a man who never returns my phone calls and would rather be out with his friends than me."
I have read and heard from many nice guys out there that have dated women state that they have a lot of close friendships with women and that the women adore them but that that women only want to be friends. The women do not want a relationship with the man because the woman does not want to lose that friendship with the man by getting into a relationship with him. This excerpt is from an article I read on the internet.
"Nice does not pay believe me i am making a similar mistake now two years on and have a very dear female friend she tells me there will never be anything more because she does not want to risk her friendship with me by getting into a relationship. She says that i am her best friend, yet she wont go out anywhere with me not even to the cinema. Niceness just gives you a messed up life!!! Trouble is i cant change so will have to take a seat on the shelf for now."
The issue is that I read this same scenario all over the internet when I do research on this topic. Now in my up bringing and what I have been taught by the church is that for a lasting relationship it is best to be "best friends with your partner". This man has a situation where he is best friends with a girl, but she is afraid to ruin that by getting into a relationship. What is she looking for is my question? Isn't this what we are supposed to be best friends to have a lasting relationship? What is wrong in our society to want to be with a bad boy jerk than to have a serious relationship with a nice guy that will be there for you both physically and emotionally?
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