Will You Survive Your Heartbreaking Affair?
Will You Survive Your Heartbreaking Affair?
Inour present World of "instant everything", we're trained by every modality of daily life to want no work, pre-packaged solutions for every life challenge.
But resolving complicated emotional problems is not a microwave meal. Accordingly, going this route will produce no "instant gratification."
Nevertheless, long term joy, for both partners is well within the realm of possibility. In this commentary I'm going to clarify what you need to do to survive your affair. And lift your love bond to the next stage.
First of all, it's important to be aware that the results of the cheating can be just as arduous for the cheater as for the cheated.They will rest with the guilt and remorse of the cheating the remainder of their lives.
For that reason, it's mandatory that the other partner offers the cheater some compassion and understanding. This is especially important if the mutual idesire is to rejuvenate the relationship.
Following on, the partner cheated on needs to leave the machochistic ease of "victim conciousness." Yes, you were deceived. Yes, your trust was taken advantage of. Yes, you were lied to.The important word here is "were." As in "in the past."
Replaying your despondency isn't going to make the past go away, or the coming days sunny and carefree.It's "emotional quicksand,"The harder you struggle, the greater the depth to which you sink.The end result being you're completely stuck. Don't swim in the quicksand.
If what I've said so far makes sense, the third factor is the most important question :"Is continuing the relationship important to both of you?"If the answer is not negative, in addition to compassion, honesty should be be added to the mix.
But even this will not be enough to establish success without communication. Yes, of course you understand the mandatory element of getting through to one another clearly in surviving your affair.
Even with taking that all on board, still what most partners suffering through an affair are unable to get a handle on are two immoveable realities:
One, you must agree on your definitions to get rid of misunderstanding.Obviously you can't expect to make any progress if your idea of the meanings of the words used to communicate are not the same.
It's also essential to comprehend that, non-verbal communication in the majority of cases sends more powerful messages.Not forgetting that, you must be as concious as possible of the usually unconcious gestures and facial expressions you use.
You need to ensure to the best of your ability, that these "messages are the ones you want to send. The variety that add complimentary positivity to your verbal communication.
Last but not least, I need to impress upon you the categorical-no exceptions requirement that the cheating partner completely finish all contact with theformer partner in the affair.When I say completely, I mean Completely - with a capital "C!"
If the adulterous partner is absolutely sincere in their desire to rejuvenate your love connection and elevate it to a new and higher quality level,this won't be a problem.
If your reality is exactly opposite to this, it's time to pack your bags.
Of course I'm hoping, this won't be your end result. Of Course I'm hoping,the action steps I've given you in this articlewill help you get on the right road to surviving your affair.
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