Working Out Long Distance Relationships

Distance may make the heart grow fonder (in small doses)

, but long distance relationships may also make the heart jealous, controlling, and spiteful.

From the beginning, couples must set up parameters and expectations. If not already married, it is important that both know if it is casual dating or serious boyfriend/girlfriend, and whether the relationship is exclusive or nonexclusive. If couples are not on the same page, it will only set them up for heartbreak and disappointment.

Communicating with each other everyday (multiple times a day if possible) is important. Emails are the easiest way to communicate as they can be done at anytime of the day, and can be sent from practically anywhere with a smartphone. Text messages are an easy way to send a quick thinking of you when you do not have the time to send a longer, more thought out email.

Timing phone calls during the day are a little more difficult, and it is easy to be disappointed and sad when the other person is too busy to talk. But setting a time to talk on the phone or through live-streaming video conferencing is even better. During this time all focus and attention should be on the other person. To keep phone calls interesting, it is important to do things together while on the phone like watching the same television show or movie, but when it comes to serious talks like venting or talking about problems (whether it be about work, family, or the relationship), it is important to listen and show that you care and are there to comfort each other even hundreds of miles away.

Because it is easy to be jealous and controlling, couples must establish trust, and have faith in each other. It is understandable that some days are busy with work (days filled with endless projects and reports, deadlines, and meetings), but couples must make it a point to communicate with each other everyday. And if it is agreed upon in advance to call each other, both must fulfill the agreement. One missed call on a busy day is forgivable, but it should not become a habit as this will only create mistrust.

The long distance will eventually become a strain on all relationships and it is important to communicate everyday, but a relationship of emails, texts, and calls will eventually lose its lustre. Make it a point to see each other often. Making plans ahead of time to visit each other gives couples hope and something to look forward to.

by: RB

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