"I wish I had a lie detector for my husband!"
"I wish I had a lie detector for my husband!"
By Susie and Otto Collins
Carrie's husband, Rick, seems to lie all of the time...and about the most inconsequential stuff.
She catches him in lies about picking up the dry cleaning (he said he did, but he obviously did not). She finds out that he's lied about going to gym (he claims to lift weights every day, but he doesn't).
She often wonders what else Rick is lying to her about.
Could some of his lies be more of a big deal? Could Rick be lying to her about where he goes and who he's been with in order to cover up an affair?
She wishes she could hook him up to a lie detector sometimes!
Even a "white lie" can negatively affect trust in a love relationship or marriage.
If you've ever caught your partner in a small lie, or fib, maybe you already know this. Regardless of whether the actual thing being lied about is really a big deal, you still begin to wonder...
What else is he or she lying to me about?
People lie for a variety of reasons. These include: a desire to keep the peace or not make waves in the relationship, an attempt to stay "out of trouble," an effort to preserve one's image or boost the ego and also to hide the fact that the person is doing something he or she has agreed not to do.
Of course, both men and women lie for all of these various reasons. And, both men and women sometimes have affairs and lie to cover up their cheating.
When you suspect that your man may be lying to you, it might be tempting to confront him about it. The feelings that come up if you believe you are being lied to-- and maybe even cheated on-- are probably intense.
You might want to rush in to him and get it all out into the open!
We advise you to stop right there.
Unless you have irrefutable proof that your man is lying to you (and possibly cheating), it is wiser to wait.
The last thing that you probably want is to accuse him based on evidence that is unreliable-- or a figment of your imagination. This will give him the opportunity to easily discount your very real concerns.
If he is actually having an affair, it will make it more difficult to get to the truth-- he will be more on guard.
Instead, we recommend that you begin to keep track of the reliable evidence that you find. Start to make note of any inconsistencies in his words and behaviors. As you compile this folder of proof, you will be able to determine whether or not he's really lying and cheating.
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