subject: Three Deep Breaths: Retraining Our Neural Pathways [print this page] The past two months I have focused on the Centered State, what it is and how to make it more automatic when conflict arises.
In his newsletter, friend and colleague Thomas Crum writes that while most of us think our personality traits are hard-wired, findings published in Learned Optimism (Dr. Martin Seligman) prove that we can learn to be more optimistic. Practices like centering, meditation, visualization, and focused awareness re-pattern how we interact with the world. With intention, we change little by little into calmer, happier people.
According to Tom, a significant hindrance to this retraining practice is finding the time. We feel too busy to add anything more to our daily schedule, even if it's good for us.
In his book he suggests some ways to retrain without adding time.
Tom writes:
You can practice ... anywhere: sitting at a red light, waiting for a meeting, standing in line, rebooting your computer. It doesn't take time. It takes intention. Basically, the Three Deep Breaths practice combines deep diaphragmatic breathing with
cognitively changing your thoughts:
1. The Centering Breath
* Align your body, whether you are sitting or standing, into a tall, balanced, and symmetric posture, allowing gravity to
flow through you rather than upon you, releasing tension.
* Consciously and deeply breathe from your diaphragm (as you might in Yoga or the martial arts). You may notice that your
breath naturally tends to get slower, deeper, quieter, and more regular.
* Draw your attention to the present moment; witness internal and external sensations, emotions, and thoughts as if you were
watching the weather outside. You're attentive, but not plugged in.
2. The Possibility Breath
Breathe in your best self, your highest choice or purpose. Using images, feelings, or words, invoke the "best me I can be given the current situation." On the way to work it might be, "I'm a team player, giving my job 100% focus." Or, if you're entering your home, "I am a loving, joyful parent" or "I am a compassionate and considerate spouse."
3. The Discovery Breath
Breathe in the mystery, the magic of life, being fully appreciative of whatever shows up; let go of the judgments that constrain your choices and cause knee-jerk reactions towards others. Breathe in the beauty and spaciousness of life from this perspective.
The great body of work in recent years by many researchers such as Davidson, Seligman, and Crum/Langer all point to an astonishing finding. We can consider things such as happiness, optimism - and our reaction to change and uncertainty - as learned skills, just like playing the piano or learning to ski. The more we choose and practice our mindsets, the better we get at them, and the brain reshapes itself to emphasize these qualities even more. We can consciously create happiness.
Why not begin now?
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This month of Thanksgiving, I'm ever grateful to friends like Tom for teaching and practicing with me, both on and off the
