subject: Can Long Distance Relationships Work? [print this page] It is possible to maintain a long distance relationship but it definitely is not easy. Many marriages fail because of distance, so real commitment is the issue. A long distance relationship requires total commitment if it is to work. It will not work if your commitment is only halfhearted. You must be sure.
I dont believe that a long distance relationship will necessarily work when the parties involved have recently met or are shallow in their relationship with each other. All things are possible though but the key is still commitment. I believe that such a relationship will work if you have been in that relationship a significant period of time leading up to the separation.
When I was in the military, I saw many marriages fail following a long term separation. I saw many that lasted also and I remember one factor which was important in each case. When one or both partners were unfaithful the long distance relationship or marriage seldom lasted. In many cases it did last, but those cases were the exception rather than the rule. It rarely lasted when the marriage partner found out about the infidelity. Infidelity in marriage is the sure fire sign that the person committing the act is not committed to the marriage partner. When distance puts a strain on the relationship it will break at its weakest point.
The most important thing in maintaining a long term relationship is communication. Partners must talk to each other frequently and in innovative ways. One thing that I used to enjoy when I was stationed in Korea for a year was the cassette tapes that my partner would send me. At that time it was an innovative way to communicate. I would get letters from her also but the cassettes were a welcome change. We would talk at odd hours because of the time difference which was nice. I would write almost every day and she would do the same. All of these things helped and the relationship was successful.
One thing that helped us out in this relationship was the fact that I knew exactly when I was coming home. This gave us something to hope for. We had something to hope for together and it gave us both something to look forward to. We had hope for the day to come and dreamed of when we would be together again. There was no ambiguity about if we might see each other again. We knew that we would. It gave the relationship life because we would both look forward to seeing each other again.
We would find ways to surprise each other. Sometimes it would be by way of an unexpected gift, flowers, or a phone call. An unexpected surprise was always a delight to receive. It also worked to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
One very important thing that is important for all to keep in mind is not to cling too tightly. If the relationship is solid it will last. Petty jealousy makes no sense because it only breeds contempt. Have you ever heard the statement If you love something let it go, if it were meant to be yours it will come back. Well that statement is certainly true in this case. If your partner is cheating there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. Even if you can control their behavior you cant control the mind. There are few things worse than being with someone who doesnt want you. There is no need to worry about it. You will make yourself and the other person miserable and the relationship will eventually end anyway. It is better to cut the relationship off quickly if it is not destined to work. Breaking up will hurt but it will save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
I wouldnt be in a hurry to have a long distance relationship unless my mind is made up beforehand that I will do all in my power to make it last. Anything less will probably not work. Riceland Enterprises
