subject: Why Am I Attracted To The Wrong Kind And How Can I Change That? [print this page] Do you typically find yourself being attracted to the wrong man or woman? Do you feel like you are drawn to people who have emotional issues, drug or alcohol problems or people who are afraid of commitment? If you can identify, this article may be of value to you.
It is not uncommon for me to come across clients who tell me that they have a pattern of personality they are typically attracted to. Sometimes they are attracted to people who have various addictions, many times they would fall for unavailable over and over again. Why is that so? Psychology has many answers, they say it may have something to do with your primary caregiver. If your parent of the gender you're attracted to is an alcoholic, you would typically be attracted to someone who is. We all have a tendency to be attracted to what is familiar. Something that reminds us of a love we knew at an early age. Certain behaviors, sounds, smells that we associate with love and comfort are what we subconsciously seek in our partners.
What if those behaviors are dysfunctional? What if what we find ourselves to be drawn to is not something we really want to be around anymore? Does that mean that we are doomed? Do we have to give up now and tell ourselves that we are better off alone and forget about all romantic relationships? Absolutely not! You are the master of your life and you are the master of your relationship patterns. And if you are not satisfied with whom you are attracted to, you can change that.
It all starts with you creating a vision of your ideal relationship and by believing in yourself and your vision, if you stay true to it, you make it happen. As time goes by, you will start attracting different kind of people. This typically doesn't happen overnight but it does happen over time. You will notice that over time, instead of being attracted to someone who prefers to dwell in their misery, you will be more drawn to someone who chooses to get better. And this is how you notice the progress. As you grow in this process, you will discover that you will attract the individuals who grow along with you. As you learn to value yourself more and more, you values in life will change and you will start valuing different qualities in others.
