subject: How To Meet His Friends [print this page] Finding the right guy to spend time with isn't the easiest task in the world and many different components go into making a success of a new relationship. Figuring out how to live with his bad habits, embrace his good ones and communicate with one another is just the beginning.
One of the milestones of a new relationship is meeting the people who influence your partners' life. These people will often have a profound effect on the relationship as a whole and it is important, therefore, to start out on a good note.
When the time comes for you to meet his friends, it is important that you feel as comfortable as possible in the situation. The first meeting is likely to leave a lasting impression and may have some influence over your current dating life. Many people listen to the advice that their friends give them and should you make a very bad impression this may at the very least give your boyfriend second thoughts about your budding relationship. Even if he loves dating you, a bad report from a close friend can cause some serious problems in your future together.
Know Your Audience:
When you are preparing to be introduced to his friends for the first time it is extremely handy to have some ideas about the people you are going to meet. Getting any background info for your meeting can be a big help and who better to prepare you then your sweetheart?
Knowing a bit about your boyfriend's group of friends can be very beneficial:
*Avoiding Social Blunders: Armed with bits of information you can avoid bringing up any subjects that may put you in a very bad light. Though you man shouldn't expect you to agree with every opinion around you certainly, there are just some subjects that aren't worth arguing about when trying to make a good first impression.
*Similar Interests: One of the best ways to win his friends over is to pick topics of conversation or activities you know that they enjoy. By engaging in similar interests you have a good chance not only of winning your sweetheart's buddies over, but perhaps to make friends with them as well.
*The Outer Ring: Making friends with any of the partners of your boyfriend's friends is also highly recommended. It is common for partners of friends to get thrown together a lot and if you manage to hit it off this will be a big plus in your favor. When friends have partners who do not get along very well it can put entire relationships in a negative light. This is especially important to keep in mind if any of your boyfriend's friends have had partners for a significant amount of time as they are likely to be, at the very least, on decent terms with your boyfriend as well.
*Balanced Conversation: When meeting his friends it is likely that you will want to impress and a great deal of that will come out in conversation. Those who are extremely shy may find it difficult to speak openly with new people and may run the risk of not giving them much of a chance to get an impression. Others who dominate the conversation too much also run a great risk of coming off badly and not getting much of a chance to get to know others.
Keeping the conversation balanced enough that everyone has time to share is an excellent way to make a good impression. When it comes to the dating chat and you find yourself talking about your guy, just remember not to get too personal, these are his friends to reveal secrets to after all.
Friendly Atmosphere:
Heading into a situation where you may already feel slightly nervous can be made worse if you are going to meet new people in a place which also makes you feel uncomfortable. Some examples of this might be loud clubs for those who don't enjoy crowds or sporting events for those who know nothing of the sport. Because this is the first meeting it is important that everyone involved feels good about the setting and you should try to keep it on comfortable terms.
*Style: The clothes you wear are a key part of the impression that you will make and should fit the location. If your first meeting with his friends is at an outdoor event, for example, you wouldn't want to show up in club clothes. Matching your look to the tone of your surroundings will keep the focus on you and not your inability to adapt.
Wearing the wrong outfit may not seem like a big blunder, but where men are concerned you may quickly be judged as "high maintenance" or "difficult" if you are incapable of dressing reasonably.
This is not to say that you shouldn't have your own style, naturally you will want to present yourself as you usually are. Just keep in mind that overdressing or dressing inappropriately may send out the wrong signals.
*Activities: If your first gathering with his friends will include activities that you may be expected to participate in, you may have quite the challenge on your hands. Those who can handle whatever games or tasks are set before them with ease might have an easy time of such an event; but for those who do not possess the skills to participate and do well, an occasion like this may prove difficult.
If faced with such a situation, remember that most people will not judge you based on your skill level, but your willingness to try. This goes double for any activities in which your boyfriend and his friends are regular participants. Though your level of enthusiasm may not be high, remember that if you give the activity a chance you may score big points with his pals just for being a good sport about it.
Pitfalls to Avoid:
There are some common mistakes that people make in new relationships when attempting to make a good impression on friends. Because the matchmaking between you and your boyfriend's friends can feel so important it can be easy to make little mistakes that can ruin the experience.
*Sticky Subject Matter: Unless you feel as though you are really hitting it off, try to avoid subjects that may lead to arguments or mixed feelings about you when talking with his friends. Though you may have some excellent opportunities to have deep discussions later on, this doesn't often happen during the first meeting. Particularly subjects about religion or politics can be good to avoid as so many people have strong and differing opinions.
*Bad Habits: Though your boyfriend may have learned to overlook some of your less attractive habits, it is unlikely that his friends will be so forgiving, at least right away. Avoid any socially unacceptable actions as these are likely to leave you in a bad light.
*Nerves: Those who find the first friend meeting situation a scary one may become tense and this may lead to some bad steps. Watch out for things like droning on and on simply because you chatter when nervous, or drinking too much in an attempt to calm yourself. These types of compensations often make the situation more difficult and can lead to some embarrassing mistakes for you and your sweetheart.
*Secrets: Though the most obvious choice in subject matter is the only bond you share, don't be too liberal with the boyfriend gossip or you may end up revealing something that he won't appreciate your telling.
*Flirting: Your boyfriend may have some attractive friends and as you are already trying to make a good impression this may lead to some flirtatious behavior. Many boyfriends accept their partners' flirting with others now and then, but the best dating advice for such a situation often dictates that you do not do so with his friends. Only you and your sweetheart can know which boundaries are okay to cross, but whatever those lines are, be sure not to step over them with one of his buddies.
Getting on good terms with your boyfriend's circle is an important step in most happy relationships and it is often wise to take the time to make sure that your first meeting goes well. Though you may not adore all of the people in his life, the bottom line is that your boyfriend will see the effort you put forth and will know that this means he has some value in your life. In the end, you really just need to make an effort and hope that his choices in friendship are as good as his romantic ones.
