subject: From Cary, Dundee And Mchenry, Il-how To Find The Best Marriage Counselor To Fix Your Relationship [print this page] Finding a good marriage counselor for you and your spouse begins with homework. After you've narrowed the field, visit the prospective counselor's office for an initial appointment.
What should you expect on that first visit? Based on your homework, lay out your expectations, then measure what you see against them.
Once you meet with the new counselor, begin asking relevant questions. I cannot imagine a better gauge of a professional's integrity than the quality of his responses to face-to-face questions.
All the while, expect your questions to be answered in a manner that makes sense to you. If his answers don't make common sense, cross him off your list.
If you are serious about finding the best marriage or family counselor, continue reading and learn how to assess which one will be the best for you.
(1)What should I expect during my first visit?
During your first visit you will get a lot of hints about whether or not this particular marriage or family therapist is right for you. First, when you arrive, talk to him about your health insurance plan and be sure that he accepts it.
If you have a rapport with the therapist, fill out any forms he may ask you to fill out. These forms gather your contact information as well as information about your insurance policy. He needs to bill your insurance company appropriately.
Also, disclose information about any counseling or psychotherapeutic history you may have. Make sure you disclose any psychiatric medications you may be taking.
Now begin assessing your comfort level:
- Don't be embarrassed to ask about fees. The counselor should be willing to discuss fees and/or financial arrangements in advance of any counseling.
- Look around the office. What is its general appearance and that of the counselor? Is the overall appearance neat, clean and orderly?
- Does the family counselor seem genuinely interested in your family, kids and relationships?
- Do you find the marriage counselor easy to talk to and understand? Does he have a confusing accent?
Does he or she seem happy to answer your questions? Red Flag: Is the practice a high-volume commercial operation in which he appears to rush from client to client?
If you are not satisfied with the counselor's answers to your questions or if you are not comfortable with his manner, consider interviewing another therapist. It is crucial that you feel comfortable with him or her.
Also, during this first visit, what kind of feedback is the counselor providing to you on your psychological and relationship history. Insightful? Useful?
(2) Does the counselor take time to explain how he sees your family or relationship problems and offer suggestions for best interventions to resolve them? What specifically do his recommendations mean?
How will they be implemented? If you don't understand any part of your therapist's evaluation or recommendations, don't be afraid to ask for more information.
Among the services you may need are individual counseling for your spouse, possibly your kids, couples counseling to resolve relationship and marital issues and perhaps psychological testing to hone in on elusive, particularly troubling problems. Can the therapist provide some or all of these?
You may want to ask what other interventions are available...seminars, group counseling, the use of CDs or tapes, medication etc?
Consider asking the counselor the following: How do these options differ in cost? Which solutions tend to last the longest?
How do the various options differ in terms of frequency and time commitments? Which ones are you able to provide?
Among the counselor's recommendations: How much relationship counseling specifically is necessary? Is counseling for the kids needed?
Are there classes or groups I could attend? Your family therapist should be able to offer you intervention options to help you get your therapeutic needs met at a cost, frequency and intensity that is appropriate to your needs.
If that's what you get, congratulations. Odds are, you have the best counselor for you.
