subject: Relationship Advice For Dealing With A Break-Up [print this page] Dealing with a break-up is something personal that people take care of in very different ways. But there are still a few common things that afflict every broken heart, and there are some very good cures for these afflictions. These tips offer a chance to learn from the mistakes of others, rather than finding out how it works the hard way.
Stop Fighting: Continuing to pour all the pain and anger of the breakup on hapless friends and relatives may make some people feel better. But after some time, it is just a plea for attention and pity. Worst part of it is that it keeps alive all the hurt and prevents people from moving ahead with a new life sans the ex.
Get a Life: A breakup is a messy business, but the worst part of it is the void that it leaves in the mind and in the daily schedule. A couple's lives and social calendar revolves around each other. But after the breakup it becomes necessary to rediscover life as a single person.
That's easier than said, but the only way to stop brooding over the breakup is to keep busy. Drowning in alcohol or living off the couch in front of the tv may help for a day or two, but it has its limitations. After that, it becomes necessary to find something that occupies mind and body, and is enjoyable enough to continue long-term.
For instance, a stay-at-home wife could get a job that offers a sense of purpose. A jilted husband could take up golf or gardening or do some of the things that were never possible when the relationship took up all the free time. Traveling is as good a way as any of moving past the breakup and keeping busy at the same time.
Get a Makeover: A change for the better in physical appearance is always a good thing. But after a breakup, it has an added significance. The old look was probably something that the ex liked, and the change signifies an attempt to move beyond that. Besides, it might just come in handy, when it's time to snag someone new to replace the ex.
Start Going Out: The whole 'getting a life' part was more about finding oneself and a true passion. This is more along the lines of an active social life that involves more than the television, couch and take-outs. Attend parties, meet new people, and renew old acquaintances. The point is not to start dating right off the bat (that's a good thing, by the way), but dealing with a break-up involves getting back into the flow - to see and be seen.
