subject: Dating services advice – learning how to communicate effectively [print this page] For many men trying dating services, learning how to listen to what a woman is trying to say can be a tricky challenge. Reading body language and picking up subtle hints can be crucial in decoding her comments, and understanding how women think is also essential in learning how to communicate better in any relationship.
One of the biggest advantages to dating services is that it has made it far easier for couples who share similar traits, interests and beliefs to connect. Before the advent of dating services, couples were either set up by friends, or perhaps they would meet at a bar, church or social event. While often they may have some things in common, the differences would become apparent all too soon, creating arguments and other issues when both parties battled to communicate.
Dating services on the other hand, set people who share a much greater range of interests, beliefs and views, meaning a far greater compatibility, right from the start. That doesn't mean that communication issues don't come into play however - in any relationship, learning how to understand each other is a crucial part in making a relationship work.
Here are some of the most common things that women may say (when they are really meaning something else):
- Does this dress make me look fat?
Although this question is the butt of many jokes about women, in reality this is one of the most loaded questions a woman could ask, and men very rarely know the right answer. While you may think that honesty is the best bet, it's not always what she wants to hear. Dating services experts advise that the best way to handle a question like this is to be tactful and find a way to make her feel good in what she is wearing. If she really does look on the curvy side, then suggest a dress that you know she looks and feels great in, rather than being point blank about it. When she wants honesty, she will ask her best friend or mother.
- I'm fine!
Another classic one to watch out for; this is often seen (quite rightly) as a warning sign. Most often, the tone is what you need to look out for here, say dating services experts. If she is smiling and looking relaxed, and changes the topic in a natural way, then she probably is fine. If she is looking angry, crossing her arms, talking in a curt or harsh tone or looking like she wants to fight, then she is not fine. Scary as it may be, the best approach is to let her vent - try not to ignore her, and try and talk things through when she is ready to talk.
- You never understand me.
This is all too often very true, sadly. Women are often complex creatures, and when they feel that they are not able to communicate to their partner, they feel frustrated - much like men feel when they are not able to get their thoughts across to the woman in their life. If you are battling to understand her, try and listen - or take turns talking and listening, rather than giving up or getting angry. Dating services coaches all agree, listening holds the key to effective relationships and communication.
Dating services advice learning how to communicate effectively