subject: The Wanderer: Part 22 of 73 [print this page] Suddenly it was all there, the energy, that I needed and enough to carry on living. I was far behind and the realization hit me that I had to get going, fast. Inexplicably I was game to finish this course! It felt good. There was a restlessness to get on with it, harder and further to finish. It was probably around the middle of the night when I began to press onwith meaning.
"Why?" asks Xaba. "What?" "Pressing on, driving forward," he says. "Where did that come from?" "Meaning," I say. "In that moment the element that gave my life immediate purpose, was clear. Life does not get better than that. This was part of my reason for being, my true design, and I knew it." "Did you believe?" asks Xaba. "What do you mean?" I ask. "In God?" "Yes, since I was a little child - and more later on. The Father has been good to me, Xaba, ever since I can remember. But this was different. This believing went much further back, and it reached forward too. This was directly related to that something that was the purpose of my later life. To know that you are actually doing what you were destined to do, that is special! Maybe it is the pinnacle of knowing." Maybe this is the essential secret, I wonder. "That night the strength came from somewhere of its own accord. Almost like a permanent 4x4 truck in thick sand. Put your foot down on the pedal and the engine's power surges through. I knew I had a huge gap to make up and very little time to do it in.
