subject: How Can We Comfort Hurting People? [print this page] The question, "How can we comfort hurting people?" is not easy to answer because it touches upon the great mystery of suffering.
There will always be hurting people everywhere you go. The fact that committed Christians can and do suffer should not shock or dismay us. One Christian writer wrote that "God whispers in our pleasures, and shouts in pain." Suffering might be God's wake up call in our jaded and complacent lives. Another quotable quote: "Suffering? It's like garbage. It does not look good, it does not smell good but it makes a good fertilizer!" Our God who writes straight in crooked lines has His reasons. We need to trust that they are good reasons, no matter how great the pain we are going through.
Helping people who are hurting depends on the nature of their "hurt". If the hurt is somewhat minor (chicken pox, flu, some failure at work or school), we can offer practical advice and service such as get-well cards, chicken soup, a job reference and tutoring. Financial problems can be somewhat easy to deal with. Remember the wise words of Scripture: "If a brother or a sister has nothing to wear and no food for the day, and you can say to them, 'Good-bye and Good luck!' keep warm and well fed, but do not meet their bodily needs, what good is that?" from James 2:15-16.
But what if the hurt is of a more serious magnitude? How can we comfort a person with cancer? What do you say to a woman who lost a husband? The father whose 5-year old son dies of dengue fever? These are the cases in which no words are seem sufficient. We are out of our depths, staggered by the immensity of the tragedy, the unbearable grief, the "excess of suffering." What do we do?
First of all, we ourselves need to be strong. Our faith in God's fidelity and mercy should remain unshaken. How can people lean on us if we ourselves are tottering?
Second, exercise the "ministry of presence." Our words may not be effective as our loving presence. You may not need to say anything. Just be there when you are most needed.
Third, storm heaven with unceasing prayer on behalf of the person hurting. Frequently, the person is unable or unwilling to pray. Be his ambassador before God.
I applaud your sincere desire to help our hurting brothers and sisters. To reach out to them is to imitate our Lord Jesus Christ. He could have helped us from heaven. Instead, he came down on earth to be with us. The "God-for-us" became "God-with-us."
