subject: Rebuilding Trust in a Relationship in Seven Easy Steps by:Frank McGinty [print this page] Some say that once trust has gone out of a relationship, it's over. Not true! There are many strategies for rebuilding trust in a relationship, and below I've outlined just seven of them.
First Step
You could work on doing what's expected of you. Yes, there are times when being unpredictable can spice up a relationship and keep the fire burning. But when rebuilding trust in a relationship, better to show that you can be relied on to do what's expected. People like consistency, especially after their faith has taken a knock or been shattered.
Second Step
Clear communication is a vital part of rebuilding trust in a relationship. Did you know that by far the greater part of communication is through body language, not through words? Even tone of voice carries more impact. So when you say you're happy, but you're sitting with a frown and hunched shoulders, your partner knows you're not speaking the truth. Be honest and be yourself - that will rebuild trust.
Third Step
Have faith in your partner's ability to play his or her part. You don't know everything, and your way is not the only way - it may not even be the best way! No one likes to be constantly criticized by someone who always seems to know better. Especially if that person has given cause for doubt or has broken a trust.
Fourth Step
In any partnership its better to be honest and open. Being secretive can lead to furtive looks and behavior, and that's not a good plan for rebuilding trust in a relationship. On the other hand, if you have done something of which you are ashamed, why hurt your loved one with the truth? Instead, have a firm resolve to put it behind you and start again. (Furtiveness comes when you continue to do things you know are not in the best interests of your relationship.)
Fifth Step
Be assertive. Just because you may have done something to shatter the trust in your relationship doesn't mean that you don't have rights and needs. But remember that with every right comes a responsibility! And if you fail to assert your needs, you may end up smothering your partner instead of rebuilding trust.
Sixth Step
Part of being assertive means learning to say 'No' when appropriate. Listen to your partner's requests and try to be accommodating - but that doesn't mean you have to agree to everything. If you turn yourself into a doormat, your partner will quickly lose respect, and that's not good for rebuilding trust in a relationship.
Seventh Step
At times each of you may have to bite the bullet! By that I mean you may have to raise unpleasant subjects, or insist you discuss a certain issue. Turning a blind eye often works, but sometimes you may have to brave the turmoil and clear the air.
Rebuilding trust in a relationship is going to take time and patience, and maybe you'll need some expert help too. But with goodwill and determination it can be done, and both of you can emerge stronger - and happier! - for the experience.
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