subject: Dating Under The Influence; The Balance Of Focus And Stimulation [print this page] Whether you're looking for a serious relationship or a casual one there is little down that the world of singles dating is a complicated one. More option are available than ever before and singles looking to meet new people are often bombarded with everything from homespun advice to dating ads.
The many influences that direct how a person seeks out romance and for what reasons are almost too numerous to count, as are the methods by which people today are finding love. A growing problem in the dating world is that many singles are finding themselves in need of combining their relaxation time and their matchmaking searches which may seem like a good idea, but can have its' drawbacks.
One major problem that many people discover too late is that certain types of influences do not help them achieve their true romantic goals. Those that are most susceptible to redirecting what they truly want with whatever is influencing at the time may even find the effects of such behavior are devastating to their romantic life.
The mind can be steered in many directions on a day to day basis and this is even truer when it comes to subjects like attraction, desire and love. Learning how to continue on course that has the best chance of achieving your goals and not allowing certain types of influences to distract you from them is an excellent way to ensure your success in dating.
Certain types of physical stimulation can shut down not just the logical aspects of future goals, but common sense altogether. It is important not to ignore these influences, but to know when you have reached a point where you can no longer stay on the course you intended.
*Inebriation:
Whether out on the town or signing into dating online many people find themselves reaching for a drink in order to calm their nerves and relax their bodies; while this can be a great way to loosen up, many people find that should they become too intoxicated their judgment goes right out the window.
These types of situations can lead to disaster and even danger in some cases and may ruin any plans the person had prior to becoming intoxicated. Consider browsing through dating personals online and sending a drunken message to a person who had an interesting profile. It could be that the person only appeared to be interesting because you were intoxicated and you have now opened a line of communication which you will have no desire to pursue. Perhaps the person caught your eye some time ago, but you were nervous about sending a message until you had a little "liquid courage" to help, but how accurate a portrayal of yourself was sent?
If you should spark up a conversation in a dating chat room while not thinking straight you may end up saying just the wrong thing to the right person thus ending any chance you had of making a connection. Another possible danger might be breaking the basic codes of online dating safety and revealing more information than you ever intended to simply because your judgment is off.
The stakes become even higher when meeting face to face. While under the influence of any drug many people have found that they make horrible and even dangerous mistakes. Ending up alone with complete strangers or taking unnecessary risks; promising feelings that don't exist to people you wouldn't much care for sober and even placing yourself in dangerous situations to impress some romantic interest.
In any of these situations using just a little restraint might have prevented an unpleasant outcome. The most important point to focus on is balancing your good time with the common sense not to place yourself in a bad situation.
*Physical Attraction:
When your dating romance is at its' peak the physical attraction you feel may become very intense. This is a normal response to both physical and often mental stimulation.
When these types of reactions are sparked without good reason the outcome can, in some circumstances, lead to disaster. This is not to say that if you feel comfortable with casual physical relationships you are the wrong track, quite the contrary, it is only when you get off track because of the overwhelming influence that is becomes a problem.
As an example we will consider a man who is not interested in having a casual affair, but finding a meaningful relationship. Let us say that he engages in a private chat online with a person who he has begun to feel closer to. Throughout the course of the chat the man allows this physical influence to begin dictating the topic of conversation and the words he chooses. Under the right circumstances this may not be a problem, however, if his new romantic interest believes that his behavior is not yet appropriate the relationship may come an abrupt end.
A prime example of how letting these feelings dictate your actions can cause some very serious problems can be seen when applied to the idea of dating friends. Many unfortunate incidences occur when two people, often feeling lonely or vulnerable, turn to a friend to fulfill a physical desire. In some rare and special cases a wonderful relationship is the result, but in the majority this type of event often ruins the friendship.
The same type of situation can be found when meeting in bars or clubs where physical stimulation is even more pronounced. If this influence should be allowed to govern the actions of the person in question they may very well ruin their chances for making a good impression.
Once again, the focus of this subject is to balance your physical feelings with your actions so that you can accomplish your ultimate goal.
*Social Pressure
Another type of influence that can have a negative effect on judgment when allowed to govern is the pressure of people or circumstances. Those feeling as though they must pursue certain individuals, not because they feel compelled to, but because it is expected often find themselves in miserable situations.
This type of influence is often called peer pressure, or social pressure. When applied the person feels as though if they do not continue with a line of behavior that others will approve of they might risk being outcast. When this is applied to romantic relationships of any kind the results are often disastrous.
The idea of balancing the influences in your life with your ability to focus on your goals is one that can be applied to nearly any situation including romance. Whether you enjoy being single and playing the field or are looking for love, the important thing is that you continue on a course that seems right for you without allowing outside influences to make your decisions for you. Be it drink or friend, attraction or loneliness; remember not to lose sight of who you are and what outcome has the best chance to make your life a happy one.
