subject: Relationship Creation - Artificial Guilt [print this page] Author: Colin Martin Author: Colin Martin
You have nothing to feel sorry for.... Growing up, we all learn that forgiving others helps us find peace within ourselves. But how often do we really forgive ourselves? The makeup of our lives have everything to do with how much guilt we carry around. When you think about how you make decisions about critical choices in your life, you'll see that your level of guilt drives your decisions more than any other factor. Are you nice to your neighbors because it is the right thing to do, or are you scared of how guilty you will feel if you treat them badly? Do you spoil your children because you want to "make up" for something you think you did wrong even if the spoiling is detrimental to their behavior? Right and wrong is a perspective. ....everyone has a different opinion on the matter. Right or wrong choices happen in an instant......sometimes completely beyond your control. Does that mean you cast guilt upon yourself like a life sentence? Never really making choices for yourself, but succumbing to the dark cloud over your head that you put there? Think about how clearer your decisions would be if the guilt you carried around with you was no longer a factor. All guilt is artificial. It is made up in your own head. Even when others have forgiven you, you have trouble forgiving yourself. We tend to hide the guilt away in dark places where most of our friends and lovers will never see it. But we are hiding nothing. It comes to the forefront in every move we make....every decision we make. As real as guilt seems to us, it is an illusion. It can be discarded like an old shoe if we really wanted to. Guilty feelings happen everyday. Without proper soul cleansing it builds and builds to a point of spiritual dysfunction. Even if things are your fault, do you need to punish yourself to the point where you make terrible decisions not based in knowledge or happiness, but just a quick fix to make yourself feel better? The guilt within you needs to be eliminated, not given a daily Band-Aid of worthless niceties to cover up what you believe others can't see. Why is so important that you harbor guilt even if it makes you miserable? It's not the guilt that keeps us in check. Its guideposts are an illusion. Guilt is like a cancer that festers in our soul...keeping us from feeling powerful and beautiful. Unchecked and untreated it will destroy us. And it's only in YOUR head.....no one else is casting that guilt in our direction. Others try to make you feel guilty when they are angry at you, but often it is a sign of their own wrongdoing and way to shed their own guilt onto someone else. The circle goes on and on. Only you can put a stop to it. Artificial guilt is not a proper measuring post of how you treat someone. The lessons learned from your mistakes are the only factors that you need to make the clear choices ahead of you. Knowledge is the guiding light in your life, not the dark chaos of guilt. Individuals that are free of artificial guilt can make their decisions based on the lessons learned, give their opinions without bias, express happiness and growth without shame, and love others based on freedom of choice. If you are full of guilt, you are not doing the world any favors. The world needs you to be free, happy, and inspired. All of us out here want you to treat us with respect and kindness because we have earned it. Not because you cannot fully express your feelings without self castigation. The world needs you to feel good inside. Not a lifetime of hurting. Find your way towards inner peace by forgiving yourself first. Forgiving others when you can't forgive yourself is not doing anyone any good. It is not genuine. It means that you don't understand what real forgiveness is. Being happy will always be an exercise in futility. We don't need that. We want you to be beautiful. It lights our world. Go ahead and forgive yourself...you have nothing to feel sorry for. How do you create an everlasting quality for your relationship today? For nearly 20 years one man, Colin Martin, has searched for and found the number one secret to building an exceptional romantic relationship. The answer doesn't lie in the endless volumes of self help books and repetitive talk shows ....but within yourself! About the Author:
Colin Martin has given over 2000 personal consultations to singles and couples alike to improve how they view their relationships.
