subject: Rules for Happy Harmonious Relationships by:Garry Jacobs [print this page] Complaining aggravates the behavior it seeks to cure. Lose the ability to complain.
The less you react, the less cause and provocation you will have for reaction.
Disengage yourself from every conflict as soon as possible.
Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, always, at all times.
A touch of patience dissolves disharmonies. Genuine patience comes from knowing oneself.
Avoid cynical humor, teasing and sarcasm in the guise of being funny. They are like acid rain that poisons the flowers in a luxuriant rain forest.
Never attribute ulterior motives to your partner, even when you feel justified.
The capacity to completely forget a problem is the way to overcome it forever. Let go of the grievances of the past without trace.
Whenever you are very sure you are right, take your partner's point of view. You will always discover a truth in it that should be honored.
Being right and having your way are the triumph for ego, which destroys relationships. Be generous, considerate, loving and self-giving
The more you try to improve yourself and the less you try to change your partner, the better your relationship will become.
Acknowledge your partner's feelings and perceptions, without judgment or criticism.
Undivided personal attention fosters intense affection.
Taking 100% responsibility for making the relationship better without expecting anything of your partner is the best way to evoke your partner's fullest cooperation.
Learn to cherish the differences between you and your partner.
No act is too small or insignificant to serve as a means for expressing affection.
Don't take anything for granted. Give full credit to your partner where it is due, even for the smallest happy occurrence.
Silent Will is more effective than the spoken word. When you intensely want something from your partner, will for it silently rather than asking in words.
Listen to your partner's silences. Respond with understanding, acceptance and affection.
Gratitude is a spiritual emotion that brings more of what we feel grateful for.
About the author
Jacobs is an American-born consultant on business management, economic and social development with extensive international experience in USA, Western and Eastern Europe, and India.
He has been working in Pondicherry, India since 1973, where he is Vice-President of MSS Research, the social science research division of The Mother's Service Society, engaged in research on issues related to peace and development, including strategies to for economic growth, employment, agriculture, knowledge dissemination, education, technology transfer and credit. He was a member of the Indian Planning Commission's Task Force on Vision 2020 and editor of its report.
He was elected a Fellow of the World Academy of Art and Science in 1995, elected to the Board of Trustees in 2005 and is also Chairman of the Academy's Standing Committee on Peace and Development.
He is also Executive Director, International Center for Peace & Development, Napa, California (www.icpd.ord), the successor organization to the International Commission on Peace & Food (ICPF), which conducts research on strategies to promote global peace and development. From 1989 to 1994, He was Member-Secretary of ICPF, convener of ICPF's working groups on Employment and on Transition in Eastern Europe, coordinator of the ICPF research team that evolved a strategy to generate 100 million new jobs in India, and editor of the Commission's report to the UN entitled UNCOMMON OPPORTUNITIES: Agenda for Peace and Equitable Development.
Jacobs is author of several books on business management and development.
He has a BA in psychology from the University of California.
