subject: Saving A Relationship - Three Crucial Factors to Work On [print this page] When things are going from bad to worse, it's hard to see any solution at all. But I've got some good news: even at its lowest point, things can be fixed. Saving a relationship is not an easy thing to do, but it can be easier if you know exactly what to do.
Search For Causes
Deep down under everything, there is got to be some concrete reasons why things are going sour. Maybe your relationship's lost its spark, it's just not romantic any longer. It could be that something has changed in one of your lives. Perhaps you aren't communicating well anymore or taking pleasure in each other's company.
Being unfaithful is usually a problem, but I will tell you something most people don't realize: cheating in most cases isn't a cause; it's an indication. For an individual to be unfaithful, there must be something wrong already. Nobody in a happy relationship cheats on their lover.
A good way to fix things is to sit down together and make a list of everything you like and a list of whatever you don't like about each other. I know what you're thinking, "That sounds brutal!" Well, the truth isn't often easy to absorb. However, getting these things out in the open helps find the causes for the unhappiness. It's time to be completely honest. And also, your "likes" list can help you both remember the good things and realize your relationship's worth saving.
Good Communication
Everyone knows that it's all about good communication, but what is that exactly? There are 3 things you have to communicate well:
Forgiveness You both did several awful things probably. Well, anything bad in the past is going to be erased and you're about to start clean. Forgive the other person and do not play the "blame game." That's where you're both pointing the finger and saying "YOU did this and YOU did that." Saving a relationship means forgiving the past and making a plan for the future.
Honesty Lay all the cards on the table. Only total honesty will fix things. It could hurt sometimes, but it's the only way to make it work.
Good Listening Communicating is about more than speaking. When you're sharing your feelings and laying out the genuine truth, you have to listen to each other. Now's not the time to offer a point-for-point rebuttal. No excuses or explanations, just listen to what each other need to say.
Fix it
Saving a relationship is a joint venture. You've got to build a plan for the future that will work, and you've got to build it together. It's got to be a good agreement for the two of you.
When we are attempting to resolve things, there is an inclination to just go along with what the other person desires. This is a big mistake. This will make things much better in the short-term, but it means one of you will likely be unhappy eventually. Those issues that caused your near-breakup are going to come creeping back in. You need to both be happy with your plan for saving your relationship.
At the beginning of this article, we created a list of problems, right? Now we're going to deal with them one-by-one. First, put in priority on the list. Start with the most crucial or greatest problem, and work on that one first. Do not try to resolve everything at the same time.
Notice: if you're married, it's going to slightly different, learn about it on stops divorce.
If you're both committed to fixing things, it can be done. Once you start to see things change for the better, once that spark is back and you're both remembering why you were ever together, you'll see that saving a relationship is easy to do and well worth it. Look into my Relationship Recovery review for suggested professional help within this topic.
Saving A Relationship - Three Crucial Factors to Work On
