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subject: Happy Step-mother's Day Cards [print this page]


I still remember the first mothers day experience I had with the younger of my 2 step children.

He was about 7. It was just a couple of days before mothers day. His school teacher had his class make up mothers day cards. He came home and showed me a card he made, and said I made my mom this card, and I asked my teacher if I could make another card for you, but my teacher said no. I thought to myself: Why would you not encourage the student to do that when the student asked to do that? I guess some teachers (or people) have not quite gotten in touch with reality or know how to deal with children from divorce who have step-mothers. (Mothers Days card is just the tip of the iceburg.) But I know that was only one teachers response. I also dont really know the full story, maybe they ran out of paper. But the sad part was, in our sons case, he was left to deal with the fact that he didnt have a card for me. I thanked him for being thoughtful, we didnt make a big deal out of it.

A few years passed, we were in the car with my husband driving up to the cottage. Our son talked about how half of the parents of the kids in his class were divorced, and that you could actually talk to someone in the school about your parents divorce. He said he didnt need to do that. (By now, our son is in a different school.) I was so pleased to hear that such a dialogue is available and encouraged in school. We told him to use the service, if he ever felt the need.

There are alot of disucssions among divorce law professionals and divorcing parents that we need to keep the best interest of the children in mind. Id like to see such discussions be expanded to many people who touch the lives of these children. Such as teachers. Teachers can influence our future, our relationships with people and our perception of the world, especially when we are young. I do think the conversation is expanding. Probably a lot of teachers have step-mothers.

I wonder how many kids are encouraged to make Happy Mothers Day cards for their step-mothers this year.

This thought came to me as I wrote the last sentence: How about a Step-Mothers Day but really, do we need one? Cant it just be the same day? I think thats where I am leaning.

To borrow what Sandra Bullock said during her Grammy Award acceptance: for the moms that take care of the babies and children no matter where they come from. Happy others Day!

by: Martha Chan




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