subject: Women Need To Find A Balance Between Work & Family [print this page] Being a working Mother has got to be the pits for emotional drainage. I only had to do it for a few years and I know and will always remember the angst and stress it caused me and my kids. The only one it didn't affect was my Husband. The reason it never affected him was because he said at the beginning that if home life was disrupted at all that I would have to stop.
In retrospect, I can see now how that added stress to myself and my kids because we all walked on eggshells to make sure his life was not disrupted in any way whatsoever. Eventually though this backfired on all of us because you can only bend anything so far before it breaks. How many other divorces in the world are caused by bending a families emotions to breaking point?
There has got to be a balance for everyone between work and family commitments. Without this balance there will be fewer kids born into western families or more divorces hitting the family law courts.
Women who have to return to work within weeks of childbirth are the families I really feel sorry for. The women are adapting to having another human being totally dependant on them and are still tired and recovering from child birth. The Husbands are still adapting to sharing their wives attentions with another human being. Some males resent this and can go out of their way to make life difficult to get their wives attention.
Little do they understand or recognise that they are even behaving badly or that their wife resents these emotional blackmail tactics because its tearing her emotions into shreds.
The males who exhibit this behaviour are often very insecure and have enjoyed an overindulgence from their spouses prior to baby's arrival. Jealousy is aroused and is not always readily accepted as being present but if you are friends with your male partner, you may be able to point out that this is not the time nor the need to display these negative emotions.
All these common emotional upheavals and living adjustments have to be made when you bring a new life into a secure family environment; and if the Mother has to return to work within weeks of the birth, few of these problems actually get resolved or solved.
As time wears on and adjustments have been made if not actually decided or worked through, these problems get buried under everyday life and it takes less and less extracurricular problems to make them resurface under the guise of another problem. Eventually, the stress of trying to be everything to everyone you love, breaks the foundations of the relationships.
The male blames the child, the child resents their Fathers constant criticism, the Mother feels pulled in every direction and feels as battered as a demilitarised battle zone so the family splits and becomes another divorce statistic.
Much of this could have been avoided if the Mother had not had to return to work so early after childbirth and was able to find a balance between work and family commitments.
