subject: Questions Women Have About Men [print this page] There are several common questions that women have about men. Some answers are pretty common to all men, while others may reflect his personality, beliefs, and personal baggage.
BEFORE the Relationship: How Can I Attract Him?
There are some basic facts about men that you can use to your advantage. For example, nearly all men like long hair and dresses.
From the personal ads, you'd think that all men are only interested in women who are "petite", "thin", "slender", "fit" or some other euphemism translating to "not fat" (even the guys that are fat, bald, and broke themselves). But that might not be the case, so try not to let a few jerks ruin your self-esteem and keep you from meeting the nice guys that will love you as you are.
Being a good listener, a good sport, and a fun person to be around are common factors that men find important in a woman.
EARLY in the Relationship
One of the most important questions a woman has is "when is it appropriate to have sex?" There's a fine line between letting him know you're attracted to him, and letting it happen too soon. It's common for a couple to be getting along great; they have sex and she never hears from him again.
A wise person once said "women have sex to get love; men give love to get sex." And if men get sex too soon, they lose interest. The challenge is over; the goal has been reached. They need to learn the value of the relationship before they can truly appreciate sex as more than a pleasurable physical act.
Another common question is "how can I get him to commit?" One of the root fears of commitment is having to give up "Me" to become "us". One of the key ingredients is to find a healthy balance between too much togetherness and too much aloneness. It needs to be "okay" for both parties to have interests and activities outside of the relationship.
One big sources of conflict occurs when one or both parties pretends to be interested in the other party's "thing". He thinks she LIKES football when she was tolerating football because she knew it meant so much to him.
AFTER the CommitmentWhy doesn't he ever say "I love you?"
"I told you I loved you back in 1980. Nothing's changed. I'll let you know if it does." HE probably doesn't need constant verbal reassurance of your love. After all, you're still there. You need to hear the "I love you" when he takes out the trash, or goes with you to the fabric store even though he HATES the fabric store. Men communicate through their actions.
Finally, WHY does he_____?(fill in your annoying habit of choice). Back when you first met him, his foibles were cute. His jokes and stories were funny. But the hot pepper story isn't funny the 37th time you hear it. Accept the fact that he isn't perfect. You aren't either. There are still probably a lot of things you like him for. Love him in spite of the other things. Make up your mind to be happy, and you will be.
