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subject: How To Save My Marriage So That It Will Last Forever? [print this page]


All of us who get into a marriage believe that it will last forever, just like the fairy tale. All of us know that in reality it doesnt really work that way. There has to be some way to keep the love and commitment as it was. Nobody is thinking about how to save my marriage when they are just married.

But something happens along the way when people are married. This sours the marriage. And it is not rough times which affect the marriage. People go through tough times and survive. This will take place only if both people are in love and truly committed. Then no partner will ever have to think about how to save my marriage.

Let go is always hard to do. An important part of the grieving process is denial and bargaining. To recapture things when they start going wrong is quite difficult.

There is always only one person who wants out of the marriage, once it ends. What this person wants is to leave the spouse. The other person is the one who had no such thoughts. What was coming was never known to the other person. This person is devastated when the spouse tells that he/she wants out. The person who wants out of the marriage does not wish to come back or again try to work on it. The fact may be that the person had been wanting to leave since quite some time. That person may have fallen out of love quite a while ago, but the other party may still be in love. The marriage should continue, is what the person in love wants.

The fault and blame in a marriage is not of only one person as a marriage is made by two persons. The fault of one person is generally more than the other person. But sometimes it really isn't about more of one person's fault than the other's. At times two people get married to each other but they dont suit each other. At times they simply do not get married for the right reasons. It may have happened this way that they had fallen in love and things had been good for some time. It may be found out later that this is no basis for a committed or a lasting marriage. Hence both may start blaming each other and making accusations. This is not nice and definitely not happy most of the time.

The person who is still in love will like to think about how to save my marriage. It is this person who is hurt the most. The love and trusts for the spouse is still there. Everything will eventually work out, is what this person feels. What they need to do is keep trying. Denial is the basic stage of grief. It is human nature to never give up hope. Things do not work out in this way usually.

by: Boris C.




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