subject: Does Your Ex Want to Get Back With You? How Can You Tell For Certain? [print this page] Author: Adam Jackson Author: Adam Jackson
Has your ex been throwing hints your way that he or she would like to reconcile? It is difficult to know whether this is real or not. It is possible your ex simply misses the relationship that was and is as confused as you about what your future is. It is also possible that your ex really does want to get back together. How can you tell for certain? For one thing, don't be so quick to jump back into a relationship with your ex. This may be a mistake. Without having proper closure and recognizing why the relationship came to an end, you may be jumping in hastily. Take a step back and think about what led to the break up. Ask yourself whether these things can be overlooked. This is especially difficult if you spent a significant amount of time with your ex. Memories flood your brain and want to influence your decisions. But it really is best to take a "wait and see" approach. What are you looking for? You want to see signs that your ex really wants you back for a committed relationship not just because he or she is lonely. You want to see that he or she is willing to work on things as they come up, rather than throw in the towel again. So how do you go about this? Initially I'd say to play a little hard to get. If your ex does want you back, he or she won't go away that easily. That's "test 1". If your ex goes away, well, then you know he or she wasn't ever serious, but was sadly, just lonely. Test 2, do a little no contact for a while. What I mean is, rather than get back into talking every day as if you are resuming where you left off, instead, don't be so quick to take his or her calls. Let a few days go by before returning calls. This is essentially hard to get but taking it a step further. After a few days, call your ex back and see what the reaction is. If it's friendly, that's a good sign. If he or she acts "pissed", you might want to reconsider whether you really to get back with this person. Is he or she demanding and gets angry when his or her immediate needs aren't met? I'd call this a red flag. Last test is to test the waters. Ask for a face -to-face meeting. Sit down, hash it all out. Talk about what went wrong, but never accuse, simply state how things made you feel. Ask your ex what made him or her want to leave the relationship and once you both have gotten those things out, talk about ways to mitigate these issues when they come up again. If you are able to get to this point, I'd say you've answered your question, "Does your ex want to get back with you?" About the Author:
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