subject: How To Handle Conflicts That Will Inevitably Occur In A Relationship [print this page] Whether you are dating, newlyweds, or a partner who has been married for years, conflicts are inevitable in relationships and conflicts are a healthy sign of a healthy relationship. Many of us refuse to engage in healthy conflict, however, his insistence that we are right and the other is wrong in the strongest terms possible. This type of view in black and white should be avoided to maintain a healthy and stable relationship.
The first step in conflict management is know what your buttons are, and your spouse or partner. Most people will have conflict in one of the three major areas, finance, sex and raising children. When these important issues come up (and inevitably), it is important that participants in the debate that this area has a long history of causing conflict in the relationship, and begin the discussion with the will to try to see the another person's point of view and present their own in a logical manner.
When conflict arises, to avoid the negation of the other person's point of view, do not take the stance of "I just know." Try to show why you think what you are saying and listen carefully when your partner gives you a rebuttal. Show that you have heard what they have to say by repeating some of his statements.
Try to stay on the subject, i.e., discussing the immediate problem, as much as possible. Try not to make blanket statements like "You always do this" or other harmful words. Also, do not always degenerate into insults. Even the uses of strong language in the form of swear words tend to make the other person to keep out any message you are trying to send. Avoid any form of physical intimidation, as people are naturally inclined to the defensive in such scenarios. This is particularly difficult for men who may not realize that what they think they may be right to let out their frustration (ie, closing a hand on a table) is actually very intimidating to your partner.
There are short circuits when it comes to dealing with conflict. Neither partner ever physically approaches each other in an argument, especially when it is becoming a heated one. If the argument is really degenerating, it is very important to have the strength to walk away for a cooling period, the chances are that they are far from topic anyway at that point, and nothing was resolved.
The end result in a conflict within a relationship should be that you and your partner are reconciled with each other. The problem must be solved within a reasonable time; it is best before date has expired. Let problems fester is the shortest route possible to take, as the conflict inevitably recurs in the future. Finally, be prepared to say he's sorry, it will show that you care more about the relationship of the issue.
