subject: How Important The Issue Of Fair Fighting Is In The Relationship [print this page] If you're like me, you found yourself standing in the aftermath of a storm called a fight. You feel burned and damaged. The bitterness has taken root. Your heart, once opened, is closed protected behind armor so it cannot be hurt again. Although bury the pain, burns like a burning coal and pollute your love or marriage relationship forever, now separated.
Personally, it was not until I got a little more and looked at my bone yard of broken love affairs that I realized how important the issue of fighting fair. Nothing is more important than how you fight or express their anger. How to handle conflicts can determine the course of your love all or a marriage relationship. Influences whether or not perceived as trustworthy and reliable person with whom you disagree.
In my practice as a therapist I have witnessed a veritable wasteland of romantic relationships; many relationships are lost or damaged marriage, because people do not know how to fight fair. The result was unhappy homes, bitter divorces and countless tears and frustration.
Here is a list of 10 love, marriage MUSTS relationship for the just struggle. These are important and may require practice. In the heat of the moment, may seem difficult to apply. You and your partner will be successful if you have the honest intention of cleaning their relationship, because you can always go back and talk later when it's quieter and a better space.
1. If you feel a slow burn, STOP! Often when you are angry you feel like a rash. Feeling the heat of anger or rage that sweeps around the body and mind, it may feel like you loses your train of thought or you forget what you mean. You want to exploit the other person. Stop! Not the right time to talk.
2. Remember that this is not your enemy. At this point, your survival system sees his beloved as a threat, the enemy, and a source of pain- only with survival. So you may be inclined to say anything, fight with all your strength, and win at all costs. It is a big mistake!
3. Avoid mental / emotional associations with your love or marriage relationship that does not serve you. When you get upset you're "on". Your survival system has begun to make associations, or links, between his beloved and those who hurt you in the past.
4. Take your time. You need a break and some distance. I did not say; close the door. Keep your head and say, "I'm very uncomfortable talking about this right now. I need a break and get out of here for a while. Let's talk later." Minor skirmishes sometimes dissipate naturally. When you feel that the anger will dissipate naturally, let it go.
