subject: Coping With Anger In A Positive Way [print this page] Everyone has things that make them angryEveryone has things that make them angry. Not everyone deals with anger in the same way. Some people are able to take anger and turn it into positive energy that fuels their passions. If you find that your anger is turning destructive, here are some tools that may help you in coping with anger.
In order to deal with anger, you need to be able to get into touch with your own feelings. If you have difficulty in recognizing your own anger, take time to notice when destructive patterns arise in your life. These negative behaviors may be caused by anger. Be sure that you are not displacing anger from one situation to another one.
To effectively deal with anger, you should know what your triggers are. What is it that makes you angry most often? Is it dealing with authority, jealousy or some other trigger?
Learn that you need to give yourself a time out. When those feelings of anger start to rise in you, let the people that you care about know that you are going to need time to deal with this situation. After you calm down, you will be able to deal with the situation more rationally.
Take responsibility for the way that you react to a situation. While situations can fuel our angry feelings, we ultimately have the final choice in how we respond. No one has to say hurtful things to the persons that they love just because they are angry. Instead, learn to replace negative responses with positive behaviors.
Learn to assert feelings by choosing to use I statements. Use words that describe feelings without sounding accusatory toward the other persons.
If you are having trouble dealing with anger, do not add alcohol or drugs to the mixture. Using these substances will lower your ability in dealing with the anger problem and also make it easier for the anger problem to get out of control.
